i dont know what to do anymore.
im sad, james gave me a chance and i fcked it up.
will it never work out?
im horrible.
when was the last time my parents sayd anything nice to me?
they always yell and acuse me doing stuff, i dont do.
when im crying they yell at me for being dramatic,
and when i tell them i just wanna be alone right now they poke around, for more stuff to insult me about.
sumtimes my daddy will grab my arm and yank it and yell in my face how i need to chill out.
then i want to go to sleep and my parents force me to throw up while tell me how stupid i am and how im just ruining everything for them, how im a s**t daughter.
i have no selfesteem.
the only little bits of happiness i get is when james compliments me, tells me im pretty, im sweet, and fun to be around. and when i cry i love how he hugs me, and pets me, and says its okay, everythings going to be okay.
i'll never find the same sweetness he gives me.
but he's proably mad at me right now,
and he'd yell at me next time he sees me.
all i want is people around me to listen to me, and understand why i did it, why i shouldn't have but insted i wish i were dead.
nothing can give me happiness anymore.
i need him more than anything, in this whole wourld.
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[[Dear Diary]]
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c'est moi, j'aime mon aimee <3 -->