Over the past two weeks it's been since I've come back from Cailfornia, my mom has told me a lot of things, things about my dad. Now, I know that he doesn't appear to be the same person he says he is, and my mom and him have been arguing over child support for years ever since they got divorced when I was eight. Well, today, I feel worse than I ever have about it... I never thought about things this way, nor have I ever felt really and truly angry with my father. However, because of the things that my mom has told me, I really can't think of any other feelings that I should be feeling...
According to my mom, my dad doesn't really care about us like he says he does. Like, at my grandmother's funeral in March, my dad attended, naturally, because it was his mom that passed. However, even while we were in the same town, we only saw each other twice: during the viewing of the body, and the actual funeral itself. My mom told me last night, that he had gone out to eat, probably with our stepmom, and didn't even bother to take us with him. Yet he complains about not getting to see us enough over the year, seeing as we only get to see him one to two months out of the summer when we fly out to California to visit him. I'm now under the impression that if he really did want to see us, that he would've taken the initiative, and taken us with him, which he didn't.
My mom also told me that he complains about having to send us $600 in child support ($200 for me, my brother, and my sister) which is why he doesn't have the money to take us out to do things while we're out there with him. Yet every year that we have stayed out there, he's moved into a new house or apartment. And seeing as everything is much more expensive in California, especially houses, I find it extremely hard to believe that he doesn't have the money, and even more so when he pays literally $100 to $150 for groceries, most of which we don't even need. And there's only five of us, six if you count our cousin, who my dad adopted from our older cousin, but she's still a baby. So pretty much once every two weeks, he goes through about $200 on groceries since he buys extra things like chips when we run out of them during the week. And that doesn't include the price for diapers, and baby wipes, since I've never seen him buy them. Oh, and speaking of baby things, our little baby cousin has a huge container full to the brim of toys that I'm sure she has only played with once. And she just turned one last month. So how they honestly expect me to buy the whole "we don't have a lot of money" crud is seriously ridiculous.
On another note, our stepmom has been making our lives a living hell. She doesn't care about us, and as far as I'm concerned, she never did, and never will. I really can't stand being around her because she is so closed-minded. She keeps talking about how things were back when she was growing up, but I really don't care what she says. Things change, people change, life goes on; get over it. Seriously. And she thinks she's doing a great job with this little charade of hers, to make us think she likes us, when in all actuality, she doesn't give a damn about us. To her, we'd be better off someplace far away so we won't get the chance to ruin her perfect little world. Ha! Like I want to ruin crap anyways. And to think this is who my dad cheated on my mom for? He's really sunken to a new low, and I use that term lightly. I'm not supposed to know this, but she's been married before she married my father, and she got rid of the first guy by calling the police, and saying he abused her, and it actually got the poor guy put in jail. I swear, she's a crazy psycho lunatic, who will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Even her own nephew doesn't like her, and he was best friends with my dad since they worked in the same area for a couple of years. But time got the better of their relationship, and it fluttered out the window like a leaf caught in the wind.
My only wish is that I don't end up like my dad. I really mean that. My mom has told me time and time again that if I ever fall in love with somebody, get married, have kids, and for some reason, get divorced and marry again, that I make sure that my new wife has no problem taking care of the kids, and that she loves them as if they were her own. If not, I'll find another that will because I don't want my kids to go through what my siblings and I have had to go through over the past decade.
I end my thoughts here, for now...
According to my mom, my dad doesn't really care about us like he says he does. Like, at my grandmother's funeral in March, my dad attended, naturally, because it was his mom that passed. However, even while we were in the same town, we only saw each other twice: during the viewing of the body, and the actual funeral itself. My mom told me last night, that he had gone out to eat, probably with our stepmom, and didn't even bother to take us with him. Yet he complains about not getting to see us enough over the year, seeing as we only get to see him one to two months out of the summer when we fly out to California to visit him. I'm now under the impression that if he really did want to see us, that he would've taken the initiative, and taken us with him, which he didn't.
My mom also told me that he complains about having to send us $600 in child support ($200 for me, my brother, and my sister) which is why he doesn't have the money to take us out to do things while we're out there with him. Yet every year that we have stayed out there, he's moved into a new house or apartment. And seeing as everything is much more expensive in California, especially houses, I find it extremely hard to believe that he doesn't have the money, and even more so when he pays literally $100 to $150 for groceries, most of which we don't even need. And there's only five of us, six if you count our cousin, who my dad adopted from our older cousin, but she's still a baby. So pretty much once every two weeks, he goes through about $200 on groceries since he buys extra things like chips when we run out of them during the week. And that doesn't include the price for diapers, and baby wipes, since I've never seen him buy them. Oh, and speaking of baby things, our little baby cousin has a huge container full to the brim of toys that I'm sure she has only played with once. And she just turned one last month. So how they honestly expect me to buy the whole "we don't have a lot of money" crud is seriously ridiculous.
On another note, our stepmom has been making our lives a living hell. She doesn't care about us, and as far as I'm concerned, she never did, and never will. I really can't stand being around her because she is so closed-minded. She keeps talking about how things were back when she was growing up, but I really don't care what she says. Things change, people change, life goes on; get over it. Seriously. And she thinks she's doing a great job with this little charade of hers, to make us think she likes us, when in all actuality, she doesn't give a damn about us. To her, we'd be better off someplace far away so we won't get the chance to ruin her perfect little world. Ha! Like I want to ruin crap anyways. And to think this is who my dad cheated on my mom for? He's really sunken to a new low, and I use that term lightly. I'm not supposed to know this, but she's been married before she married my father, and she got rid of the first guy by calling the police, and saying he abused her, and it actually got the poor guy put in jail. I swear, she's a crazy psycho lunatic, who will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Even her own nephew doesn't like her, and he was best friends with my dad since they worked in the same area for a couple of years. But time got the better of their relationship, and it fluttered out the window like a leaf caught in the wind.
My only wish is that I don't end up like my dad. I really mean that. My mom has told me time and time again that if I ever fall in love with somebody, get married, have kids, and for some reason, get divorced and marry again, that I make sure that my new wife has no problem taking care of the kids, and that she loves them as if they were her own. If not, I'll find another that will because I don't want my kids to go through what my siblings and I have had to go through over the past decade.
I end my thoughts here, for now...
