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This is a heads up, I'm angry. Grrr >.< No seriously though, I know it's all inside me, it's all pent up, because I love everyone so I can't let it out just talking about it makes me explode.

What upsets me the most is that people think this whole trans thing is a phase, they keep asking me "So, are you still trans?" YES! ******** YES! GOD DAMNIT! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!?

I'm sorry, I didn't do this to hurt anyone, hell I didn't DO anything it just happened, this is how it turned out. I can't help it. When people ask me what I think about God or anything, I feel like turning to the sky and shaking my fist at him. "HEY MAN! YOU ******** UP BIG TIME!!! JOKES OVER! FIX IT NOW!"

Another thing that for some reason might surprise people. I HAD A NORMAL GREAT CHILDHOOD! My parents are loving supportive always have been, this has come as a shock to them, I don't blame them but they're part of the reason for this, they're some of the people who I think are hoping this is all just a phase. But I want others to know, they're the best parents, I love them, they did nothing to result in my transgenderedness, They didn't "Touch" or "rape" or "abuse" me, and it makes me so mad when people assume that. It's insulting to my whole family and especially them. I'm proud of them and couldn't be more thankful for raising me right. I'm mostly and very proudly straight edge, I'm not diseased in some gross stupid way and my reputation is still in tact and whole. Thanks to them I have a great education. They did everything right. This just happened, it's how I was born, and I believe that simply because nothing in my childhood happened to warrant this, it's just how I was born. Bottom line here, "Back off, it's not their fault!"

Here's a HUGE bit of information everyone needs to know. The trans thing, gender in general, IS NOT YOUR SEXUALITY! IT'S YOUR ******** IDENTITY! It's when you walk down the street, when you open a door, open your mail box, pour cereal, greet someone with a "good morning".

I can't go places in public without being a little upset, and EVERYONE KNOWS you can't turn that off, that upset "I'm not alright leave me alone" feeling, it can't be switched off. You have to hide it.

I don't want to compromise, I don't want to work things out for someone else's benefits, I need this fixed, I won't ignore it, there's technology for it I'm going to take advantage of that. I want people to understand and accept this, I'm not doing it to hurt you, but I'm hurt that you would expect me to suffer in silence for you. No, I'll go find other people who don't care.

... shower time, I don't know how to end this. Oh yeah every day I become furious because when I shower I'M NAKED AND SEE THE DISGUSTING BODY I HAD NO SAY IN BEING BORN WITH, HOW THE ******** DO YOU THINK THAT FEELS?! I FEEL LIKE RIPPING MY SKIN OFF LIKE HURTING THE BODY I DON'T ******** WANT! If it weren't for bleeding out and dying, I'd rip these things off, I'd rip the ******** ovaries out, I'd tear everything out of myself, but I want to live, I haven't lived yet, I've never been alive, I want that chance.... so I have to wait. OH and that b***h who got her hormone treatment in prison because she threw a ******** fit and castrated herself... I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG! I'M A HARD WORKING HONEST PERSON BUT SHE GETS FREE TREATMENT WITH TAX PAYERS' MONEY?! HOW ABOUT ME MAN?! I'M A GOOD CITIZEN, SHE'S IN THERE FOR A REASON BUT SHE GOT IT FOR FREE?! BULLSHIT! Does that mean I should go rob a ******** store or kill someone for a free sex change? Sounds pretty ******** good to me, it's headed that way unless people stop ******** around and being so god damn selfish, I know this is selfish.. what am I supposed to do?

Ok shower time a few paragraphs ago I bet @_@ I just felt like ranting ^w^ Sorry, it's nice to ~deep sigh~ let it all out now and then. I love all of you, and you know it XD Or I would either stop talking to you or yell at you and THEN stop talking to you ^w^ and I haven't done that to anyone yet...

Time to go, ok ok bye >.>