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yo. um my best friend has been hiding some emotions from me. well hiding is not the best word since he just realized these feelings about himself. so now it makes me kinda sad to kno what he really thinks. yeah this'll be another long one. let's start. one thing he mentioned was being forgotten by mostly everyone in a short amount of time. i've known this about myself for awhile but just never brought it to light but...i feel the same way. and also i didn't pass the test for that library job. but anyway, most people at school this year were slightly confused about me (being the new guy and all this year). yeah i made friends like Nathan and Curstan and John. my 3 new god friends. there were a few others but those were the closest ones. especially Nathan. i feel lik my friend. if i were to disappear, no one would really care. they'd all be like "well he was always quiet and by himself and we told him not to hang out with Nathan; and Curstan is all different from us anyway." there have been very few i've trusted throughout my life. all have been good choices so far. I am smart as well and truly have a split personality. if i'm with my friends i get out of control and won't stfu anyone in my way falls. but without them i'm an introvert. scared to change and i'm the perfect little soldier. but i try to fit in and fight the power the best i can. i tell people all the time i've been labeled a seral killer for my quiet ways. a stalker, and stuff like that. maybe i am. but maybe thats just...me. i think thats where i got my name. Half Man is my facade that i put on. just a normal guy trying to fit in. but half otaku is the guy to party with. a militant sex crazed psychopath. i kno no one reads my journal except like one person so idc now. no one will see this even of i left it up for the next three years. if i said: "I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF NOW!!!" no one would kno or stop me. because no one cares that much about me. see how many people try to stop me. dyron out? ninja .......
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