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well i guess it is in a way... if youre standing in her shoes. but its not fair to me. its like she doesnt understand that for the last fifteen years ive spent my life isolated from the rest of the world. on the outside looking in. i was so shy. i couldnt stand even looking people in the face and i hated being the center of attention. but i hated not having friends more. i hated sitting at home while everyone else i knew was with their friends, i hated knowing that i wasnt attractive, i hated knowing that no matter how hard i tried i could never ever get comfortable being around people. then i went to highschool and joined band and its like everything changed. for some reason i felt a connection with all those people. they were all so nice and funny and understanding and accepting and it was the best feeling in the world. now i love people. I love being in the limelight and going out with my friends. i love knowing that im not going to be alone in the summer. and i love not being alone.
but for some reason, my mother doesnt understand that. its like she doesnt get why i k**e spending countless hours with my friends and boyfriend and that i dont like doing what she says anymore. for example: she still thinks she can shop for me. she'll buy jeans two sizes too big and unattractive tops that make me look like im pregnant. and when i tell her i want to shop for my own clothes she says i cnt because "i have a bad sense of style". whatever. but now its summer and i havent bought any new clothes sense the fall of last year.
sometimes i really cant stand her. shes so annoying. im seventeen and my legal curfew is 11 but she wants me home by nine or im grounded. and i cant leave the house without her knowing where i am and who im going with and if she doesnt know the person i cant leave. on top of that she doesnt like me being away from the house for more than a few hours at a time. its crazy. and shes all worried that im irresponsibe she always thinks im lying. ive had the sex talk so many times ive basically memorized it. she yells at me almost all the time because she thinks i drink and do drugs with all my "bad delinquits" i hang out with. im so tired of this. im so tired of her.