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I found out why my ear isn't working too well. I have some sort of fluid in it. There's nothing else wrong with me. But, even with that reassuring bit of info, I still feel like something is terribly wrong. I don't know. It might all go away when I go to the doctor to get the stuff removed, I still have a bad feeling that just won't go away. I have to constantly make excuses on why I'm acting different. I can't believe that I'm actually running from my friends, lying to hold in my emotions. I don't know why, but I have this feeling that I shouldn't mention it to them. That'd it'd do horrible things, or hurt my future. Or at least till I graduate high school, that it'd do horrible things. Sometimes I feel it's just me running away from a situation because the outcome isn't clear. I may act tough, but I'm really not. I'm really just some weak person that's afraid to do anything because she's afraid of getting hurt. I hate how I've become this way in such a short time.