Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Rosewhips and other happy things
This is a notebook of all my thoughts throughout whenever.I'm an idiot.Now that we've well established that you have can have no whining whatsoever about my Journal or Retardation.
Come Original or not at all.
I hate people right now. Correction I have a focusing problem were I focus on ONE person and Hate them for a long,LONG time.Right now that person is me but it makes me a bitter person and all that so it makes me mad at others for no reason really.You see,I don't like it when people keep on the same subject for days and days and keep bitching and moaning about something that won't happen.I know I do it. I hate that about me.I kinda try and keep it down a little though....I dunno.The noise is just getting to me a little.
Shut up! Just Shut the hell up! All you do is complain about the little s**t! The annoying little stupid things that arin't a big deal but because they don't fit into your perfect little life ahhhhhhhhh!!! I wanna strangle people sometimes.I dunno,I feel like it's always competiton,the unhealthy kind at that.Then I have Mommy Dearest going bonkers tell me that my teeth are bad,I smell,I have bad hair,I need to loose weight,Here take these pills and put some make-up on.Be something your not.Don't like girls,Don't like boys.I'm just there as a waste of space.I didn't get the Scholarship,I fail at life,I don't have a job,My Pay could have been better WHY WASN'T i IN IT?wHY DIDN;T i GET THE SOLO? wHY DIDN'T i TRY HARDER TO GET BETTER,wHY DID i HAVE TO COME IN SECOND AGAIN INSTEAD OF TRYING TO BE SOMETHING GREAT TO MAKE UP FOR YOUR SELFISHNESS THAT YOU COULDN'T EVEN ACHIEVE!!

The only thing that makes me twitchy is when I kinda stick it out there and Kinda wanna get some feedback and stuff but everyone seems a little busy ^^'' I guess that's my fault and not theirs but I still feel so intrucive.I just wanna sail away.Float away.
Where's Puck when you need him Aye?
Why does everyone have to say "Just Come Original,Be yourself." When they really mean something along the lines of,"Come as what I want you to be."

I like myself in general,Yeah I have problems with myself but I can get over it and Joke about it even but....I dunno,I don't like to be told that I'm gonna die.I hear it enough.All these things I have,Yeah,I know.I'm gonna keel over any minute now and you'll just have to stand me in front of the hole and push.

I just don't know if she knows it's not her fault.I wanna know that she knows that.She doesn't need to hold my hand for this. I wanna face it myself. (Then Again last Time I did this I kinda sunk like a rock...)
Maybe I'll make it this time.Maybe I'll be able to go and do something I think I wanna do.Something I'm good at and do a good job.I mean,Everyone sucks right?Maybe I can at least stick myself somewhere.......Gawd I have a failure complex........


Rant of doom while I drink my Gallon of Cranberry juice and take me meds (I wonder if People thought I was kiddin' with that...I ready have to drink that within the hour or something...I'm Gonna puke...))
I dunno.
I wanna hug.
Gawd damn Hugs.


"I wish I was one of those Deaf Mutes..."


Endorphines are also released when someone kills something or takes heroin...That's what I wanted to say.

Icky Hole....
Stupid.
Dark.
Icky.
Hole.

Fail,Fail,Fail,Blah,Blah,Blah.

I usually try and see the silver lining about now and cheer up and get it over with and outof my system but I just can't seem to put this behind me.This feeling that I can't sleep because of.Like a giant red neon sign flashing.
"FAILURE" in my bedroom window every night.
It's even there when I close my eyes.


All Entertainers Come Original.Make it through the rat race and try to become.......


Something I can't even imagine.


Someone save me.
Maybe.
If you like those icky black holes that is.





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum