Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

User Image this is my journal. it's a bunch of journally stuff...
♥♣♠♂♀♪§
inner thoughts on LIFE AND DEATH
Dear world,
Due to the fact that life is full of depression that can't just be deleated, I shall not deleat this email. But I highly recomend that anyone who reads this should stop and read a happyer storry. Because, you see, this will depress you, no dout.

Man I'm so lost!!! When do things get easier? When will it all end and my over-emotional chaotic lifestyl be at peace. My dreams are a pile of ash, set ablaze by the harsh truths and words. I'm pretty much **********ed (dooooooomed) for life. I seem to think that unless there's a hole passing thru my mind I'll never find peace.
The saying "This too shall pass" is a load of ******** (jackalopes)! It not only means that all the bad thing will go away, it also means that the goodthings will too. Sucks right? I know!!!
Well, I can't be Mrs.Brightside all the time, life has a darkside, best not avoid it. I'm no superman (woman). I am a severly depressing person who not only is incapable to prevent the hatred and sorrow from spreding to everything I see, I also and way to emotional and defencive. Not to forget to mention that I am alway in self destruct mode. I'm sorry world, I failled and failed, more times then I could count. Some may say, no Noel, your not a failure. But that's because that's what friends say... But I am, no dout, a failure. IQ tests and ACTs mean nothing if I'm too lazy to use my brain and body for anything. My dad agrees, (says I'm worthless and a b***h. And spitting in my face).
I dont want this life, the lord should give it to someone deserving. I think that tho I've prayed and prayed for the loss of my life and a better fuiture for the world the lord has still kept me here for some purpose. There has to be a reason. But why me? Why? Any answer I can think of isn't a goodenoff reason to allow me life.
I want to lieve, run away, die, (fly, if only it were posible). But omething is stopping me. Perhaps it's the natalgic conection I have to this town. Or purhaps my innerchild still can see the good in life, and still believes that the'll be a happy ending to this story...
K, well I'm still here. Alive. Dead. Whatever! I'm here, for whatever God thinks I'm needed for...





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum