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http://www.gaiaonline.com/journal/?u=4111872 my old journal
My Dog is dying. Correction, She's already gone.
I'll just put this up here. It turned out something was seriously wrong. Her stomach had filled with gas and bloated to twice its normal size, the surrounding area became inflamed, and her kidney's were failing. The enlarged stomach was putting so much pressure on her diaphragm that she couldn't breath, Her stomach also began to bleed, which filled her lungs, also making her breathing more difficult, When I took her in (to save her, remember that, I had no intentions/preparations of letting her go) they looked at her gums, they were as white as printer paper. "She's losing blood somewhere, look at how pale her gums are." She threw up blood too, coughing like she'd been doing all night. They performed a "CBC" I think they said, I have no idea what that was. He showed me the xray of her enlarged stomach, Jasmine is a Miniature Schnauzer, so she's small, her stomach was the size of a large grapefruit, I don't even think our stomachs are that big. I had two options he said, and at this point I'd called dad who was out of town (as is mom, I had to deal with all of this and be sick alone, I told him they're not allowed to leave at the same time anymore.) The vet told me we could operate, and save her stomach and lungs, but her kidney's would still be failing. He was very negative about the chance of survival even IF he operated. Dad spoke with the vet and they both talked it over, he handed the phone back to me, and while dad and I were trying to decide, the vet came back in and said she wouldn't make it and he was going to go ahead and euthanize her. So he left and I asked if I could follow, the nurse said I didn't want to. "well ******** that she's my best friend" is what I thought and walked past her. Jasmine was on her side, her tongue hanging out of her mouth, breathing slowly now. I reached out asking if I could touch her, the nurse told me I could but she couldn't see me, she was already so far gone that her eyes had stopped working, faded. I stroked her face and head and ears softly while the vet was administering the shot. Her breathing stopped, and she started convulsing softly. "She's already gone hun..." The nurse said as I tried to call to her. I told dad all that was going on. The nurse had me follow her out to the waiting room where she got some cremation forms, I wasn't ready to leave Jasmine, I actually really wish I would've asked her if I could've stayed a bit longer, but I didn't. I'll always regret that. Before this all happened and I was in the waiting room waiting to be seen, this old woman sat next to me. Her little chihuahua had diabetes, we both exchanged stories and laughed, and she pet Jasmine telling her everything would be alright, "Oh bless your soul little one, you'll be fine in no time." ...... I wish she was right.




What happened last night.

It had been a good three hours since jasmine had gone potty. Being a fifteen year old dog was making it harder and harder for her to wait so more house accidents were ocurring. I walked to her bed where she was sleeping, stroked my hand over her head, she'd stopped the strange breathing for now. When ever we wake her up, even when she was healthy and young, she looked startled when she first woke up. So naturally she had the same startled look and sort of gasped, but then when she gasped what ever must've been in her throat she was choking on. She started choking and coughing and to avoid having her puke in her bed I nudged her lightly and she willingly stood, inching out of her bed. She must've been weak, because before she was even all the way out she let herself fall to the floor, landing clumsily, still coughing. At that moment Jasmine threw herself suddenly to the right, landing on her side. I'd seen this before, her back legs get stuck and it must be painful because she freezes in place and screams, occasionally peeing herself from the pain. This time no urinating, but both sets of legs froze, the coughing stopped, and her head arch so far back it was an almost perfect 90ยบ angle between her head and her back. Her eyes were wide and her entire body shook violently. Through what ever it could've been that she was choking on came a small gurgling cry, breaking through the blockage till it was an ear splitting blood curdling scream. What do you do to help a stiff suffering dog? I stroked her frantically, checking to see how stiff her legs were, managing to get the scream to stop and that strange breathing came back through her nose. Jasmine managed to sit up from the frozen state but her body was trembling and she rocked from side to side resembling movements similar to elderly hands wrought with parkinson's disease. I placed both arms on either side her Jasmine to get her to stop rocking, she resting the top of her head against my chest and continued to breath strangely. There never seemed to be a right time to move her so after a while I decided to make her move, we slowly made our way to the back door, straddling her with my hands placed on either side of her to encourage progression towards her destination. She's a Miniature Schnauzer, a large one though, so she comes up to my knees at the most. I succeeded in getting her to potty, got her to come back in and walked her back to her bed where she proceeded to breath strangely and keep me up for the next five ours. Actually I'm still up, wondering what will happen while I'm in class tomorrow.

I wrote it out like this and saved it in my journal because it's too hard to type it up each time to tell everyone. Anyway, good night.

Ps: ........... it snowed =.= rolleyes





 
 
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