once you have felt this release, this wonderful peace
for the first scary time
its always there, this screaming need.
crawling, yearning to break free
right now its just a quiet scratching, it can't even break skin.
but its always there-
haunting, daunting
a nasty little voice in the back of my mind, waiting for something to break me
to make me-weak so it can pounce
and after a while, it gets deeper and deeper
deeper and closer to my heart.
and after a while i cant feel the pain anymore. my skin becomes numb and it is nauseating.
it disgusts me.
yet, i move on.
to another region, another place to make numb.
and i wonder-
what will i be once there is nothing but numbness?
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depressing poetry...
pretty much poems thas bout it