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ph33r my l33t!!!!
idk waht to put in these journals...so i'll put wahteva i feel like puttin in there and ur gonna like it! lurve ya!!! and dont be afraid to comment ^^ i dont bite....hard...X3
true emo-tions
she cries silent tears
that confirm all of her fears

she tries to hide the scars
she doesn't want to be behind bars

her friends all worry
for all the feelings she'd bury

would well and swell
until they could tell

that she would burst
so they waited for the worst

every morning she paints on a smile
every evening she waits for the dial

as she begins to mourn
her parents begin to scourn

they had found her cuts
that she thought she had shut

and with one little nudge
about an old grudge

she couldn't take it anymore
as they came spilling on the floor

all these things that she was feeling
all exploded as they hit the ceiling

the next thing that she did
her parents ran and hid

and with one final blow
she hit her lowest low

and at last, Gabby
was finally happy







User Comments: [1]
AislinnSelene
Community Member





Fri May 23, 2008 @ 09:29pm


her friends all worry
for all the feelings she'd bury

would well and swell
until they could tell

that she would burst
so they waited for the worst


Alright:

[don't be afraid]

I don't really like those three verses. They just aren't my favorite and you could, like do without them. ;]


every evening she waits for the dial

as she begins to mourn
her parents begin to scourn

they had found her cuts
that she thought she had shut


I don't much like that part, either. ><;

I especially don't like the bolded portion, though I can't quite figure out why. Mostly because the 1st half of the couplet is my favorite part.



[ My arrangement of your poem]


she cries silent tears
that confirm all of her fears

she tries to hide the scars
she doesn't want to be behind bars

every morning she paints on a smile

[but] with one little nudge
she couldn't take it anymore

all these things that she was feeling
all exploded as they hit the ceiling

the next thing that she did

she hit her lowest low

and at last, Gabby
was finally happy


Or, something similar.


Don't take this too much to heart, though.
I really don't like rhyming. xD


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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