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god must hate me
a bunch of crap
The girl who survied
I am a lonely child living in some place that no one knows about One night i was sleeping in my cave and I was visited by a ......vampire .....in my dream....
"hello young one my name is Tori I have come to tell you vary soon you will be free."

" What do you mean I will never be free because of my father"
"as far as you know young one " and she was gone I awake. .what did Tori mean by..... "you will be free soon". I thought to my self just then my father walk into my cave.
"hello father"
" hello runt I have your weekly meal"
"oh thank you father" he hands me a small tray of food for the week.I set the tray down and hug him he slaps me
"What did I tell you about hugging me?" His words felt like daggers on my skin.

"You said not to, I'm sorry father" i say as i hold my face
"Thats right and you know what happens now don't you?" he says getting closer to me.
"I'm sorry father no I don't " I say backing away from him.
"I guess I'll have to show you then" he say as he runs up to me and pushes to the floor and climes on top of me .
"Father what are you doing?"
"Nothing just going to make you happy and make you feel good"he rips off my shirt and my pants "father please stop" I begged as I tried to pull away. But he continued to touch my in places where there has always been clothes. I knew something was wrong.I pushed him off one more time and I didn't it right be for it put something inside me that I have never saw before. "Father please please stop this is wrong STOP" I say crying.
"Fine" His words were cold and uncaring. and with that he left me to die. So all I did for months besides go out at night to find food around the cave. I sat and thought about everything. For days I couldn't move then I couldn't take staying in that cave I had to leave. I found the only thing that I had in the cave that would be proper dress. it was a pink and white dress that show every detail of my body and I hated it., and I put it on so I wouldn't be "naked". Finally I came out of the cave but something didn't seem right as I walked I saw a small boat so and I saw some men "Umm excuse me" I asked hoping one of them would here me and let me work on one of there boats.

"well hello little one" The man smiled.

"umm i was wounding if i could come with you guys well where ever your going"

" Does your daddy know"

"No sir I don't have Family"

"well i shall take you in as my own "


Page 2

" oh thank you sir, I mean dad" the man smiled as he hugged me at first i quivered and for some reason I hugged back the man was vary kind to me but I never told him my name or he would send me back i feared.
"little one will you tell my your name " he said as he look at me with the most caring eyes. I thought of my name Avril but then I said
" I don't know my name I'm sorry" then I looked down
"Awwww that's all right little one your name is Katie how dose that sound to you ?"
I looked at him and smiled."Thank you dad it's a nice name"
the next day
"Katie get up"
"huh what go away"
"Katie get up I need your help"

"okay dad I'm on my way" I reached where my new dad was standing and I saw a tall red headed boy standing next to him I've seen this boy before but only from the cave there was something about him that just made me smile."Aah Katie there you are i would like to meet ... oh I'm sorry i kinda for got your name"the boy smiled" it's okay sir I'm Tony"

"well Tony this is Katie, Katie this is Tony"
"it's nice to meet you Tony"
"same to you Katie" the boy looked and me and something didn't seem right. Maybe it was his too good to be true looks or was it his hair black, black as night.
"dad what did you need my help with ?"
"oh nothing nothing at all it was just away of getting you up" he looked at me a grinned
"Ugh dad , I'm going back to bed then"

" No, you must show Tony where he'll be sleeping"
"Yes sir , fallow me" we walk down below the deck to the sleeping areas
" So Katie what do you do for fun?" he asked trying to make small talk
"I have no clue I guess I've never had any kind of fun before"
"Ohh really"
"Yes" well every since that day Tony has been really nice to me.But slowly he became mean to me. 2 year later ...."Katie hun get up"


Page 3

"Tony let me sleep" I dreaded waking up each morning.
" GET UP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"calm down I'm up"
"good now go make some food"
"alright" my "dad" died a year a go so now I'm 16 and i am Tony's slave
" Is it done yet!" every word that came out of his mouth was like my father just daggers.
"no not yet " He hated it that i could make food appear done on command
"Hurry up!"
"yes sir" I walk in to the room where he is and I give him his food
'Is there any thing else sir ?"
"no".He took one bite and then fell over dead. The one thing he didn't know was I've been poisoning his food.I looked at his lifeless body and for some reason i felt like it have the right thing to do.

I've finally gotten away yet I still feel so incomplete why do I feel this way? I wonder this as I walk down a dark rode to what I now call home. A small little shack but when I get there it's gone.
"NOT AGAIN" I yell then I sigh and just sit where my shack used to be then a bunch of cute boys walk by they all look at me and smile.I smile back not thinking. The boys walk a little faster then leave "oh well"
I lay there on the streets trying to fall asleep on the cold hard ground then the second I fall a sleep I feel as if I'm being picked up off the floor.when I awake I'm in a bedroom I've never been in before and I'm in a guy that i have only seen 2 times before holding me in his arms. I start to shake, this boy wakes up.

"Calm down your here because I couldn't stand to see you on the street" he says with a loving tone in his voice I looked in to his ice blue eyes and saw his god like face and i some how uttered out.
"I don't see why you should care about me you don't even know me"he smiles and I thought to my self is he really smiling at me! Me of all people.Then as he open his mouth to speak I watched him like i was waiting for a halo and angle wings to appear.
"yeah I do I used to be just like you on the streets and I thought I didn't need any help but then this old man helped me he said he helped a young girl a long time ago her name was Katie but when he got some one to work on the ship he lived on the worker tried to kill him and took Katie he said that was the last time he saw her"

"really?"just then my "dad" walked in and he look at me then back at the bot then back at me then at the boy.
"Katie is that you?" I was at a lost for words so I stood up at ran in to his arms even if he wasn't my real father but he was the only man I could hug with out shaking.
"Katie it is you"
"Yeah it is" I looked into his eyes like meeting on old friend for the first time in a while I could help but cry.
"How did you get here " I looked over at the angelic boy who i was lucky enough to be in the same room with as I wiped the tears out of my eyes.
"Ohhh Andy brought you here, thank you Andy" My Dad looked at this Andy boy and smiled.

"No problem sir I just didn't want to see her on the streets" he looks at me and smiles.
"well thank you again" I smile back at him as my eyes change color from green to ice blue
"so i can see Katie you have meet Andy"
" Yes I have" I nod but I can't seem to take my eyes off of Andy to save my life.

Page 4
"Well that's good, Katie how did you end up on the streets?"
"It's a long story dad and I just woke up " He smiled at me.
"Okay then we'll talk later"I went over to one of the many bay windows in this house and sat on the edge and looked out side in felt happy. The reflection that I saw in the window of me was always have I wanted to be . Happy, My beautiful blood red hair flowing to my hips my hour glass figure something that I always wanted to have For some reason I saw Andy at my side and I do not know why I was happy. Happiness is not a feeling I'm used to but I hope I will be able to get used to it quickly.
Just as I was about to say something I saw my real father out in the street and he saw me he ran towards the house I ran up the stair and I hid That man scared me so much He was the reason that I can never really get close to any man. Hes the reason I cry myself to sleep at night. Knock, Knock. As I heard him knocking I was praying to god he wasn't here looking for me
"Hello anyone home" I heard my real fathers voice echos inside the house
"Yes , Sorry I'm a little slow theses days brother you know this"
When I heard my "dad" call my father brother I opened the window in the room I was in then i jumped .Yet I didn't think about how the door was next to this room down stairs . I landed perfectly but i landed next to my father The man had turned gray over these years. When I saw his face I had a feeling of pure and utter hate. Hate for the man who hurt me and made it it where i cant ever be close to any man
" Just the person I was going to ask you about brother this is my daughter who ran away when she was younger "
My father said this as he grasped my arm violently pulling me to he side as i thought to myself here it is right back to where I started. Back near this abuser.
" That's not possible when I took her in she didn't even know her name so I gave her a sweet and loving name her name is Katie. Brother I know your upset about losing Avril but it not her trust me"
I was trying but failing to get away . I was almost willing to tear off my own arm to get away form him.
"Trust me I know those color changing eyes"As soon as he said this my eyes changed from blue to red. As I hated that about me as I felt the anger that I had every time I thought of what he did to me and how I wanted to kill him for what he did. My father gave me the most evil look.
"Tell him the truth tell him who you are"I stared to cry as my father shook me violently. I became numb unable to move until he slapped me just like he used to so as I used to I gave in.
"He's right Before I knew what freedom was, I was Avril but I'm never going back to that back to who I was!" I slapped a father so hard I put every feeling of anger I had because of him into that slap and I caused him to fall back and as he fell he let go of me I ran. I never wanted to see that man again he hurt me so bad and I hated him for it I could careless if he lived or died.
Page 5
"Get back here now you stupid little b***h !" I continued to run I was running faster than I ever had before.then some how he caught up to me and gaped my arm.

"Don't you ever run away from me like that again, I just found you and I'm not loosing you again you need to understand that."
As I fight to pull my arm from his hand Andy and the man I knew as my dad came running up to me and Marcus..


"LET HER GO BROTHER, she does not wish to be your child anymore and I do not blame her them way you locked her up and hid her I don't blame her for running away just let her go and we will try to figure this out"I just wanted away form him I could of cared lees about talking and working this out I just wanted away.
Then I saw the man who I have hated and wanted to kill for as long as I can remember cry as he let go of my arm. As I look at that man and back at my "dad" then to Andy. Once my arm was free I went to walk away but Andy lightly put his hand on my shoulder.

" Don't go come back to the old mans house so we all can figure this out"
"Andy I care about you and my dad but I won't be in the same room as Marcus I can't do it I'm sorry"

I move his hand away from my shoulder and I begin to walk away, walk away from a loving home and people who care about me all because of Marcus. As I passed the place where a box where I used to sleep stood I begin to think to my self how Marcus has taken everything that I have ever loved away from me. I run back to my dad's house and I knock on the door praying that Andy and dad are still there and still willing to love me.Marcus is the one who answers the door.

" Are Andy and my dad here I need to talk to them"
" You act as if I am not your father"

" I know that you are my father I never said that you were not what I said was I need to see my dad and Andy and you do not look like either one of them "
As I push my way past him and I walk into the dining room where Andy and my dad so happen to be. I look at them as i think of the best way to beg for forgiveness I had no idea what had gotten into me that day I stood up to the man that hurt me so many times.

" I am so sorry for running out on you guys like that i care so much about you guys and i realized that I'm not going to let Marcus take everything that I love away from me. I understand if you two don't want to see me ever again"
Just then Andy stood up and pushed his way past me and walked out the door and my dad just sat there and shook his head. As Andy walked by my heart sank as if he was taking it with him just to leave it at the door and never come back again.

Page 6

" I guess I should go then I can see that all I cause is pain here"
then for the first time in my whole life Marcus hugged me and held me in his arms I wanted to run I wanted to fight but it was like my own body was fighting against me. The Marcus said the kindest words to me.

" No don't go you haven't caused any one pain .....its been me who has caused you all of the pain. Andy didn't leave because of you he wanted to give me and your "dad" time to explain everything to you. Why I did everything I did why your "dad" took you in but you need to sit down and drink something before we tell you everything okay hun?"As I took my drink i saw that it was straight up gin. Not the best drink I had but it was needed for what was coming next.

I was more confused than ever before but I did what he said not because I was afraid of him it was because I wanted answers . then man I loved so much and the one I looked up to the most looked at me as my father began to tell his story.

"I haven't always been the evil man that I was to you. Before you were born when your mother and I first met I was a kind sweet and gentle soul or at least your mother thought so. I did anything and everything I could to win your mother heart and her father's approval." As I looked at my father i wondered what my mother looked like this was the first time my father ever spoke of my mother.

" The harder I tried the more your mother seemed to love me and the more your mother loved me the more her father hated me.Then one night i walked your mother home and we kissed then she invited me into her chambers....and well....you know. When your mother and I awoke her father was yelling at the top of his lungs because he found me in your mothers bed.
He swung a fist at me and i fought back me moved from your mothers room to into the hall where I punched him for the last time he fell off the top of the stairs and died."

Page 7

I looked at my father and he looked as if he was going to cry.I wondered if what he was saying was all true. I watched him as he continued to speak.This was the first time i had noticed the wrinkle in his skin the frown lines and I saw that he was so old and so weak. That it was my fear of what he had done to me that kept him stronger than me.

" Your mother hated me and blamed me for what happened to her father. When she found out that she was impregnated with you she vowed to never let me see you ever! But once she had you I came in the night and took you and hid you from her and the world.
The only person I told about you at the time was my brother. as you started to grow you looked more and more like your mother. The more you looked like her the more I abused and hurt you. Like the way I wanted to hurt her. Which is no excuse for what I did to you. You never did anything wrong and you never deserved what I did to you. But back to the story, Then I tried to hurt you really bad but you stopped me then you ran away.
When I came back to the cave that day to see if I hurt you, you were gone. I never stopped searching for you." As he told me of what he did the last time we saw each other i broke down crying. As I thought how could you hurt me if you really loved her you would have wanted me to be loved too. Why if you truly loved her why would you hurt me because i looked like her. Why? Yet I never spoke a word of that to him.

As my father told me his story I saw how he really felt about me and how he wasn't trying to hurt me he was trying to hurt my mother for her hurting him in the past. Yet a part of my still hated him for it.
"Marcus this is a lot to take in and i think I need to sleep on it and come tell you what I need to in the morning"
I stood up and walked into the room where I woke up today and lied down and It took my hours before i fell asleep but it was more like slipping into a coma then going to sleep.
Page 8
While i was sleeping and I was visited by Tori once again except time time I had questions for her.the reason i recognized her was by her blue hair and topaz eyes.
" Tori, you said I would be free but I have never been free so are you just some one to fill my head up with lies?" She looked at me a smiled oh how i hated the fact at at a time like this she cold smile.
"Child I said you would be free soon but I never said what I meant by soon. You will be free what has gone on today is the beginning of you being free, just wait and see and you will know what I mean until then child a due."
Then she was gone and I awoke as I walked down the stairs I heard my dad and my father speaking about what had gone on yesterday. When i walked in to the dining room I saw a table of food made so I sat down and ate. Once i was done I got up and went looking for my dad because I needed answers from him now. I found him in the yard and i walked up to near where he was and sat down.
"Dad can you tell me something?"
" Sure hun what do you want to know."
" Well I was think that maybe you could tell me your story." He looked at me and smiled
" How did i know that that is what you came out here to hear. Well at the time when your father was trying to win your mothers heart. I was just a simple black smith. When everyone found out about what your father did they hated him so I hid him. One day he came to me and said "Brother I took her now the b***h will never get her no one will' I didn't know what he meant by that, but when he told me about you He asked me that if I ever see a young girl that to help her and keep her safe."
As I looked at him mostly everything stared to fall together.
Thank you for telling me your story, but can I ask you another question?"
"Yes you can, ask away." He smiled lightly as i went to ask my next question.
"then why did you take me in as your own?"

Page 9

" The reason that I took you in was I knew you were Marcus's child at the time i thought you just wanted to have a little fun." he looked at me as if he really didn't know why he did it.
"The more I was around you the more the truth about who's child you were disappeared from my mind and I believed the story that you told me.
Then the boy I took with us to help you and I tried to kill me and took you away. For two years I looked for you but when I couldn't find you I made this house my home. One day I saw a young boy living on the streets and I thought of you and how I missed you.Also how I took you in off the streets and I took him in and gave him a place to live and learn and eat. Then recently he saw you out on the streets and He told me about you and I told him to bring you here so you could be safe and live as he lives. then there is now."
I stood up and then I hugged him tightly then I ran. I looked for Andy everywhere it took me the whole day to find him. When I had finally found him I yelled out trying to get his attention.
"Andy wait can I just talk to you for a minute."
He just kept walking he never stopped. It doesn't matter if I have a dad and father who loves me. It wouldn't matter if I had the world, hes the one I want to love me.
Whats that saying "you can't always get what you want."

Page 10

After seeing my hope and my dreams of true love crushed I did something that I vowed never to do again....I went to the cave where my father hid me for all of those years. When I reluctantly stepped into the mouth of the cave ever bad feeling came back to me like a gush of wind that hit me at 222 miles per hour. But my legs kept moving like no mater how hard my brain tried to immobilize them they would just keep walking until I was where I needed to be.The more I walked the more I knew that someone was in this cave but I never stopped moving. Until I reached where I used to sleep to find a Family a mother ,a son and a daughter In torn clothing sleeping in the cave as I once had.
That is when it hit that is when I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to help family's and children who are going threw what I had to go threw. As I went to go wake the mother up to tell her that I was going to help her one of the children woke up yelling from a dream. The mother shot up like a bolt and ran to her child's side. I saw this woman dark bags under her eyes from stress and what was left from her tears. That's when she saw me and I went to speak.
"Ma'ma, I do not wish to hurt you or your children I think I can actually help you.'
She gave me a smug look and said" Oh! I see you think you can help US! hmmm now why don't you explain to me how a young girl like you plans to help me and my children?"
" I was once in a situation like this I mean sleeping in this vary cave getting one meal a week. So I know how hard it is to live like this and I am living with my dad right now and he has a huge house with so many rooms that he wouldn't mind if you and your children live there until you get back on your feet."
She looked at me with mixed emotions on her face one was joy but one was un-trusting.She looked at me for a while then she looked at her children then back at me.
"Alright I will come with you but we wont stay long and just so you know I'm doing this for my children if it wasn't for them I wouldn't even think about it"
" I understand completely I will come back later to come get you and take you to a safe place for you to stay."
As I walked home I saw Andy again but I just couldn't find the nerve to yell out his name this time and I had no time to I was on a mission.

Page 11

He saw me too but we never spoke I just kept walking until I reached my dads house I saw him still out in the yard. It was funny seeing this old gray man who hair is receding out in the yard tending to his flowers. I ran up to him to tell him about the family that I found.
"DAD! I need to tell you something and it can't wait another second."
"What is it hunny what is it "
"Dad I found a family with no home and sleeping in the cave where my father hid me it's a mother a two children and I was hopping that they could stay here until the mother gets back on her feet." He looks at me with a puzzling look on his face.
" Dad We need to help them and if you say yes I am going to run to them and bring them here NOW!"
"Alright bring them here I trust you on this"
I ran back to my cave and there was a man there walk toward the family that I was going to save.
" No, We aren't going with you Tom. You won't hurt MY kids They are MY KIDS I wont let you hurt them." I saw the women that I was going to help yelling at the man that I guess was the one who hurt her. Before he could make a move I jumped on his back sending him crashing to the ground and I knocked him out so I could get the women and her children out of there and to safety before he awoke and tried to hurt them all.
When I got them back to the house dad went out with my father to find Andy and Bring him home so I got the family settled in. The little girl hugged me and said"Thank you, mommy is so happy and I feel safe."
I felt like I finally did what I wanted to do my whole life I felt complete.... well almost all I needed now was for Andy to forgive me for what I had done to him.

Page 12
As I walked out of the rooms where I put this family so they could be safe I walked down stairs. I looked at this empty house and I choose to go for a walk. As I walked the street this night I had a chance to think about my life. I thought about the up and downs the pain the love.As i continued to walk I saw places where I have been in pain and places where i found love. Where I stayed on the street. Where I found my dad and where i was shunned and laughed at in the town. Then I saw her. My mother but she didn't see me..maybe its better that way. Maybe meeting her would just hurt us both more. I've had many people who loved me die or forget about me but when I found the cemetery and I saw my only true friends grave that had been broken and desecrated. I broke down crying even though my friend was just a dog it was a dog that stayed by my side until the day he died.

Once I regained my composer I started my long walk home. This time I wasn't thinking about my life I was thinking about getting home before it was dark This town was scary once it was dark. I was too late I was only half way home when everything went black and it was hard to see my feet on the ground. I heard a noise behind me so i walked faster as my heart raced in my chest.The noise was louder this time closer so I walked even faster as i was scared out of my mind.

Page 13
I felt a hand grabbed my arm I went to scream but he spoke calmly.
"Avril What are you doing out here so late.. you shouldn't be you could get hurt"
I would recognize the angel like voice any where is was Andy my Andy.
"Andy I'm fine. are you okay You've been avoiding me for a while now I thought you never wanted to see me again." Even in the dark I could see his angel like face and his lips oh how I wanted his lips on mine and him to tell me that everything would be okay now. He looked at me and wrapped his arms around me and looked into my eyes and said " I know, I just didn't know how to deal with the truth. Yet being away from you kills me inside I've never said this to anyone but my mother before but Avril. I love you." As he said his last word he kissed me passionately and I finally felt like everything was right in my life.





 
 
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