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Oh, hi! My name's Phil, I'll just bore you with a little bit about me and my personal life, and the players within.

I'm a military brat who was born in Okinawa Japan. I've been to Texas, Missouri, Hawaii, California, Korea and Japan between growing up (with my dad in the Air Force) and joining the Marines (I was a Marine for four years, I got out in 2006)

I'm deathly afraid of balloons. I think it's a certain type of phobia. I'm talking about the blown up variety here. You can toss limp balloons at me all day, and I won't even blink. However, if you blow a balloon up and playfully try to scare the crap out of me with it, I'll burn down your house.

Other than that, let's meet some of the people I talk about a lot:

Alex - Alex is this guy who looks like Dave Matthews. Also, he's into Musical Theatre hardcore. He's useful just in case anyone starts to think I might be a little bit gay. "I'm gay? What about Alex?" Then I'd point to Alex, and he'd do a gay little wave. Then we'd both mug the person I was talking to, we'd split the cash, and we'd share a banana split at the Baskin Robins (which totally isn't gay at all)

Ashaun - Ashaun is a wiry Indian guy in my playwriting class. Not much is known about him (as we've only hung out for 20 minutes last Wednesday) but he is from Sri Lanka. (Also, apparently some people don't know where Sri Lanka is on a map) I'm also going to probably catch crap for saying he's part of the Cynic's Clinc, but he seems like a cool enough guy that I'm giving him my "Phil of Approval".

Carolina Barcos - Carolina is my acting teacher. She's from New York. I don't know if she doesn't get it, or doesn't appreciate it when I continually go: "I'm Carolina, and I'm from New York!" (then I immitate firing a tommy gun) Also, I used her last name too because I'm going to be a total namedropper until I get famous.

Chris - Chris is a good friend I met during the Antelope Valley College production of Waiting Room. He played my boss, and I played the weasely subordinate (I kind of make that sound slightly erotic, don't I?) We hang out a lot.

The Cynic's Clinic - The Cynic's Clinic is a group of Me, Melissa, Kira, Alex, Kaitlin and Ashaun. We hang out after playwriting and make fun of other people like the shallow bullies we are. However, we don't tell them what we actually think about them to their faces because we're not total douchebags. Only a select few are allowed into our fun club. Sometimes we carry out "group meetings" at the closest "Denny's", trying hard to avoid "all the bums that hang out around that area".

Kaitlin - Kaitlin is a girl I met in my playwriting class last semester. She really wants to be a writer. NO, I MEAN HER LIFE'S AMBITIONS ARE TO BE A SCORNFUL AND DESOLATE WRITER, JUST LIKE EMERSON. Actually, I don't know if scornful and desolate accurately portray Ralph Waldo Emerson, but I do know he lived in the forest for a long time for some reason.

Kira - Kira is Melissa's twin. They often get mistaken for each other, but Kira's got a chest large enough that the Air Force once tried to enlist her as an aircraft carrier (that's Phil-speak for she's got big boobs) Giant lady parts aside, I respect her for her intelligence and sparkling personality (I have to put that part in there, just in case she ever reads this...)

Melissa - Melissa is Kira's twin. They often get mistaken for each other. Melissa is my ex-ladyfriend and an aspiring playwright. She says she wants to be a screenwriter too, but that's my territory, and she better know better than try to steal that from me.

I'll explain who other people are as I go on.

Keep reading!