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Thank the almighty gods for inspiration! I seriously could not seem to do ANYTHING for the last two months. It was as if I became this dead-weight thing and it was SO hard to move, but I think I'm finally getting over it a little. Either that or I am starting to have a 'highs and lows' problem again...which I would rather not assume.

I just finally feel like a can breathe a little bit, you know? Still tons of s**t on my mind, but the weight of it all seems to have lifted slightly in spite of it all. Funny how a good read will do that to me. I stumbled across a fan fic the other night and read it all the way to it's end with very little intervals besides sleep or work...but not food (...Oh s**t, I missed TACO NIGHT! NOOOOOO!!! PLEASE LET THERE BE LEFTOVERS!).

Good GOD I love this world so damn much! Too bad it sucks balls so often, but all I need to do is think about the incredible ways it all works and how easy it really can be to live. Forget the fact that you might hate the situation you're in now, the point is that you're still alive, and that really is something (or at least it is to me...Yeah, don't ask). Human potential can be really staggering sometimes *sigh*

True: I hate people in general because the majority of them tend to be brainwashed little consumer zombies and I won't deny that I've had my own brain-wash moments (and I fear for my immortal soul every time it happens >>; ). HOWEVER! I actually love all of them at the same time.

To put it simply, I can usually find at least ONE thing to admire in any one person. Not only that, I can often see the potential of people I've gotten to know and Every. Single. Time. I feel taken aback by the incalculable amount of things just ONE person can achieve in their lifetime. And they all have their own trademarks and skills- God! How can you NOT love humans when you see them in that light? Makes me so happy to be considered one (I think...Hey, where are you going?! Come back! I swear I'm not a freak- er ...much of a freak! WAIT! ESPERA! MATE!)

See, this is exactly why I had to tell Erin that I love her when she said the EXACT words I have thought my entire life when it comes to people and human beings. I would have hugged her, but the food finally reached our table and everyone was eating and I kinda have a fear of hugs, sooooo...

SIDE NOTE: Yes, I actually DO have a problem with hugs and I just don't know how to explain it. The best thing I can say is that I actually am afraid of them. It just doesn't feel right and I always go a little cold when I'm being hugged or giving one. It downright gives me the creeps to have a hug. I brush it off since I know it's a friendly gesture, but it doesn't stop that eerily cold feeling for those few seconds. But man, when I ACTUALLY hug someone, it really is a lot for me. When I really mean to hug someone, I feel great, but it's only when I'M the one hugging and it's out of the bottom of my heart.

IN SHORT: COME HERE, YOU SILLY THING, YOU! NOOGIE TIME!