Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Bitter Frost, Sweet Memories

He sat on the front steps in the cold, dark night. The cool air was biting at his nose and his cheeks were turning a bright shade of red. The street light flickered off and on and he was agitated. It was supposed to be a good, no not good, a great night, but Yuki had ruined it for him. One of these days he’s going to have to be taught a lesson.

Shuichi’s band, Bad Luck, was kicking off their second Japan tour. They had already been to the US and now it was time to have Japan welcome them home. Shuichi was so excited. Yuki was supposed to be there, but he never showed and especially after Shuichi had worked so hard to get him a backstage pass. Yuki was probably working on his book which always seemed to matter more. Yuki didn’t even care enough to pen the door. Shuichi was locked out, in the cold, with no company but a streetlight.

“Well, at least you care Mr. Streetlight.” Shuichi spoke. Then, as if on cue, the street light flickered off. “Why me?” Shuichi wined.

“You mean why are you talking to yourself or inanimate objects?” Yuki chimed in. Shuichi jumped up and saw the man with the golden hair and silver eyes. The one he had come to know and love as the cold-hearted b*****d with a passion for writing romance novels.

“Yuki!” He ran to hug the man, but instead held off. “Where were you? Why’d you lock me out? Why do you always piss me off?” He loved Yuki, really, but Yuki never showed him compassion or love unless they were making it.

They had been through so much together. There was that time when Yuki went missing. The time Shuichi lost his voice, or their announcement to the public of their relationship, and the time Shuichi went to America to find Yuki’s sorry a** and so many much more. You would think Yuki would give a damn. There were so many times Shuichi wanted to leave, but he never did. He knew his boyfriend loved him. It was in his eyes and the way acted….he just knew.

Hiro was his back spine. He helped keep Shuichi’s faith in love. Without Hiro, Shuichi would have gone crazy and probably left Yuki and Hiro would have been in jail for murdering Yuki. So, it all works out in that weird gay love sort of way.

Shuichi was becoming more and more cold outside. His feet had gone numb and his butt didn’t feel like it was even attached to his body even more. Finally realizing Yuki had not responded to his earlier questions, he turned around to look for him, but there was no one there. The b*****d had gone upstairs without him. He caught the door before it closed and scowled.

When he opened the apartment door, he could smell the burning of Yuki’s cigarette. The smell was usually a comfort, but not tonight.

Shuichi went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. He tried to count the nights he had spent with Yuki in it, but they were just so far away and so few. So instead, he counted the nights he spent alone. There were so many sweet memories. They warmed his heart, but his body was still cold from the bitter frost.

He laid back and closed his eyes. The image of him and Yuki flashed before his eyes. Shuichi licked his lips and he realized he was still cold. Knowing he couldn’t fight the cold off by just laying there, he headed towards the shower. Stripping down to nothing but his boxers he started the water and let it run.

He wanted it to be warm. Shuichi wanted to chase every inch of cold from his body because he knew that no matter how much he wanted to take a shower with Yuki, he knew that wasn’t happening. He wanted so bad to show Yuki what he was missing, but decided against pissing the author off. Shuichi pulled off his boxers and stepped into the shower. The memory of all the times the author had helped the singer “wash up” was vivid in his mind. He wished Yuki would help him tonight.

Shuichi climbed into the shower and leaned against the wall. The hot water pounded against his skin. He slid down to the floor and let the water run over his face. Shuichi then saw a lean pale figure standing over him. He closed his eyes trying to make the figure seem more real.

Shuichi stood up and the figure vanished. He knew his imagination had run away with him. It always did.

After he was warmed and clean, he climbed out of the shower and his stomach growled. He was so angry he had forgotten to eat. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he wondered into the kitchen with water still dripping down his back. Usually Yuki made something simple, but filling. When he looked, there was no food to be found.

Grabbing a banana, Shuichi hopped up on the counted and leaned against the wall. He peeled it and took a little bite. He sighed and pressed his back further against the wall. The wall was cool, but the tile felt good on his skin.

He took another bite of the banana and chewed happily. All of a sudden he felt a pair of lips pressed against his and a pair of hands hot on his thighs. He opened his eyes in shock. It was Yuki. Yuki always did this too him. Right when Shuichi is pissed off, Yuki comes and makes it go away. In a way this pissed him off more, but he returned his lovers kiss affectionately. Shuichi soon realized there was no more banana in his mouth.

Yuki groped for the know that was keeping the towel on Shuichi. He guided Yuki’s hand and helped him untie the towel.

Then Shuichi pulled away, “Wait, no comment about your book? No comment about not here?” Yuki silenced him with a kiss. The kiss was deep and passionate. Shuichi could taste the banana on Yuki’s lips and the faint taste of cigarette lingered. The towel was still covering his lap slightly. It was the only thing separating them. Shuichi was hungry for more. He wanted to rip the towel off and strip Yuki bare. He moved his hands across Yuki’s back, the black cotton feeling smooth to his touch. Yuki’s leg were against Shuichi’s and the jean fabric felt coarse against his bare legs. Shuichi was having a hard time controlling himself. He needed more.

Yuki was a 23 year old man with a tall lean figure and a pale body. He was intimidating. Whenever they had sex, Shuichi felt bare and not because he was naked. He felt stripped of emotions of security…like he was exposed. Only Yuki could do that. Yuki was the only man, no only person who could make him fall to his knees. Yuki was cold, but passionate. He was insensitive, but gentle. Even though Yuki always provoked Shuichi, he figured it was his way of expressing himself.

The phone rang and Shuichi jumped. Yuki pulled away and the two sighed in unison. Yuki picked up the phone and answered, “Yeah…..He’s here. Hold on.” He sounded agitated and tossed the phone at Shuichi, “It’s for you.”

Shuichi fumbled with the phone, and now angered himself answered, “What!?”

“Yo, Shuichi. What’s your problem?” There was a sigh that came out of Shuichi’s mouth. “Oh….sorry man.” Hiro’s voice rang over the phone.

“Now that we have that covered, what’s up Hiro?” Shuichi sang into the phone.

“Not too much. I just wanted to see that you got home okay. You look pretty upset after the concert.”

“I’m okay, now.” Shuichi watched as Yuki left the room and lit another cigarette. His heart sank low in his chest.

“K. Night then.” Hiro sighed and said.

“Night Hiro.” Hiro was Shuichi’s best friend, but had a real knack for calling at the wrong time. He knew Yuki was probably back to typing his book and wouldn’t be able to draw his attention away. Shuichi slouched over and sighed. He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around himself. He then headed for the bedroom.

Once there, he flung himself across the cold bed. It would be warm and unmade now if Hiro hadn’t called.

Shuichi pulled up the notebook he kept hidden under the bed. It was a song book. He needed to do something to keep his mind off of what he was missing, but tonight it brought no comfort. He was left alone; sad, horny, and alone. Shuichi rested his head on his arm and closed his eyes.

He sighed and felt as if there was someone else in the room. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him, but secretly hoped it was Yuki. He wanted to pick up where they left off. All of a sudden, he felt something being placed around his eyes and the room went dark. The stranger put something in his mouth and held him down. There was an overwhelming smell and a mixture of colognes he didn’t recognize. He knew it wasn’t Yuki. Soon, his eyes were closing against his will and he was falling into an endless black tunnel and he didn’t like it.