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ramblings of a ******** angsty girl
This is the offspring of my main journal, which can be found at livejournal.com/~kiota. For the previous two or three years, including the history of my depression, self-injury, anorexia, suicides, and psych ward, see the other journal.
Intro
Okay. Me.

I'm fifteen but I feel like maybe a thousand. I live in an Israeli settlement in the West Bank and if you're going to hate me for that, ******** off. I've given up on politics a long time ago - too depressing. I've been depressed since I was nine. Started self-injuring with matches when I was twelve and eventually ended up like I am now, with only cuts deep to the veins satisfying me, body totally covered with scars. I don't hide them. Not anymore.

I've had my own goodly number of suicide attempts. Wrist-slashing, ODing, drinking acid (THAT was a bad experience, ******** disgusting), strangulation, and hanging. Came pretty close to death with that hanging. That was in the psych ward.

I was in the psych ward for a few months when I was fourteen. Bad place. Really bad. Details are in my other LJ. But yeah.... really ******** up place... everyone on one big ******** powertrip and only interested in pumping me full of sedatives and strapping me down to a bed. My parents took me out eventually, after I nearly died from hanging myself.

I got a little better. I see a shrink five times a week. Go to an external school to get my diploma. I love art and writing.

I'm female and lesbian and Jewish.

I'm also anorexic. It started in the hospital and now it's fullblown, calorie counting, frantic excercise, extreme guilt, binges, puking, the whole ******** deal.

So yeah. This is me. I think too much and sometimes I write too much. Enjoy.





 
 
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