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I think my life is falling apart.
Into little tiny pieces of blank stares, interrupted sentences, and painful silences.
I see nothing from anyone
and I wonder where I am.
Is this heaven?
Because it feels like hell.
Someone lied to me along the way
about all the things that I thought were "forever"
All the things....all the things.....
And they fall into oblivion, becoming nothing but denials, regrets, and sighs.
I was so caught up
In what I thought was who I was
that I didn't realize that where I was going
was in the opposite direction of where
I wanted to be.
Family- no surprise, it's never been quite right.
But friends, and special friends so to speak- my god, that was a shock to me, to suddenly find it gone,
but not destroyed
for these things don't end in destruction, they end in a fading pattern of indifference
Until realization becomes disbelief
And what you had
becomes what you thought you had
which becomes what, perhaps, you never had.....
Though....
you swear you did have it, once.
You know you did, dammit!
DAMMIT!
You know you had it once, and it was real.
Is there still hope? Look to the North
And tell me, tell me, tell me......someone tell me
if there is still
any
hope.