Meh, as gthe title says, i have absolutely no idea of what to write right now, i'm simply using this oportunity to check how my grammar and my brain are working, this are my results
*I'm lazy
*I'm Tired
*I'm Lazy
*I'm sleepy..
Ya those are the results *Yawns* as it says..I'm very tired and sleepy allthought its 8:31 at the moment i started writting this, yeah, i got very ised on sleeping very early....which i dislike cause i mean, everything happens after 9pm and i'm so freeaking tired now...my eyes shut once at in was hard to open them again,
Soon its going to be 4mnths of LGL which makes me keep on going, it gives me bravery,,,but at the same time...i feel as if...erm..
i dunno...Makes me feel...lonely..invisible..I know he won't open my journal..or maybe he will..but i don't know, i know this stuff might seem boring for him so he won't read it, hm..i hope he doesnt.but at the same time i do..cause he wil feel and know how i a feeling right now...
Well..actually right now my head hurts badly along with my legs and with my eyes..I think its because i'm tired..and yara yara the things i allready said...so ya..
I sometimes get to think..."Does there exist love..." that is a questing i would allways want to be answered or told..and to be...confirmed with something...cause i mean...My darkened side overwhelms my body each time i feel a little lonely..I get all emo and i even scared him with what i wrote. I bought a journal of the Cheshire Cat(♥) to write all my negative feelings, all my other feelings are written in a school journal...I know..everyone had read the ☺journal..but only HIM has read the negative and not the ☺ one..Which as a result he was the person who got scared of what i wrote, i can perfectly remember..
I could see his eyes widen as i finished writting the last sentence, i knew he wa reading and i personally didn't care,cause i mean it was my PERSONAL DIARY not a newspaper..Psh..well whatever, i closed the book with a happy smiled on my face and told him "Mah! I feel much better....Hey...you read it didn't you.." i said giving a fake worring look, my negative feelings were still there, powerfull enough to make me leave the party, Then he changed the subject and made me hug him as he said "Were can i find a rose.." and i was like "OMG don't worry about that!" i knew what he ment...but before that i can remember him asking me that if i would cut my veins..I..told him."If i was stronger...I would..And.. i wouldn't care.." actually i just told him that if i was stronger i might have done it..Ii did it once but it was the arm no the veins, i am affraid of goignt ot he hospital, i dislike the needles..Psh..Ya..so like,,, i'm starting to feel much better now that i am realising all this awefull memories that have been tormenting me..Pshh... Hehe i like saying that..so ya backt o my negative feelings..
I preety much of dislike being alone...but i also seek to be alone..I think of so much stuff..I mean...C' on I'm 14 and i'm a Emo/Hyper gurl I THINK alot!! I have so much to think and so much to plan for the future...I have to stronger stronger not from my body..because of this freeking illness..i won't be able to do much..but i want to get stroner from my soul..My feelings..I want only to be Emo...or just Hyper..Not both of them..I'm tired of being two...a two faced person..I hate it..But..We can't help it...can we?..
Ok so ya...I'm leaving you my dear journal! Bye bye!! Night!! now its 8:46pm
15minutes to write this!!
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Hello i'd love u people to see my journal and post comments on it ^^:Heart:
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