So last night. I pushed paul as far as I could. Then used it sort of as a reason to finish with him. Well I still feel like some of my spine has chipped and I have a very big bruise on my arm. I'm just hurting all over.
I was such a stupid girl. But with being on. Fed up of trying to move a room when I'd planned on going out. Then him going on at me I'd simply had enough. I've gone and ******** things up. Since I do love him. I do care about him. I don't know if I could spend my life without him.
But I will if I have to. And I'm thinking I do. So not only do I emotionally abuse him as he says. Last night was the time I hurt him physically on purpose. For hurting me. Whether he believes the knocks in the balls I've done before at accidents simply because they're in my way and I forget how sensitive they are. If that makes sence.
I've made such a mess of things. I've been up all night trying to think of ways to sort this. I just can't, as much as I want to. I refuse to eat. Look after myself or anything. I'll give myself the punishment I deserve. I need to be so badly. I'm a horrible person who needs to change. If it means punishing.. so be it.
[Nympho] Whore · Wed Oct 31, 2007 @ 08:20am · 0 Comments |