|
|
|
“I will chain you down,” said Doc D.
“I thought we already determined that that doesn’t solve anything.”
“Life is a game, the last one standing wins.”
“Today is tied for the weirdest day of my life.”
“Tied with what?”
“Every other ******** day of my life.”
“Everyone’s loosing it, although with you I’m not really sure you ever had it.”
“When living with Kit everyday you go without throwing anything is a victory.”
“Go to hell.”
“I have a condo there.”
“I’m speechless.”
“Now I know I’m in trouble.”
“You’re a lawyer and a demon? Insert joke here.”
“Is it a crime to protect my friends?”
“Some people do it without killing.”
“This is cruel and unusual homework.”
“I was hoping we could do a cuteness countdown.”
“And here I was hoping we could still be friends after I electrocute you.”
“If I loose myself, I loose everything.”
“Since I have started my magical career I have been stabbed, shot, set on fire, hung, hit by a car, blown up, mauled by a tiger, eaten by a T-Rex, found myself in the intestinal track of a very large squirrel, clawed by a werewolf, cursed by Merlin, bitten by my vampire-boyfriend, kidnapped by Socrates, had all of my blood drained from my body by Dracula, possessed by various things including a monkey and myself, don’t ask, turned into every monster I can think of including twenty different demons, a fury, a banshee and a white haired version of myself that likes to kill people, blown up half of Pluto and an uninhabited solar system, been sucked down a black hole, fought evil clones, turned evil, been stalked by half of the demonic underworld, been arrested for every single crime imaginable, been addicted to pain killers, got trapped in over thirty different universes, got amnesia, ruined every single relationship that I have ever had, got people that I cared about killed, found out that I was the princess of an entirely different planet and died on national television.”
“I’m an orphan of the world.”
“If you go without sleep long enough you’ll die, I see death everyday. Sometimes it looks restful.”
“After a while I got tired, that’s why I retired. But still they called me to duty.”
“You tried to kill me!”
“If I was trying to kill you, you’d be having this conversation with Saint Peter.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“This.” She punched him in the nose and knocked him out.
“This is how I’m going to die isn’t it? Impaled by a sword?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you are not going to die, I always imagined your dieing choking on a chicken bone.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing, you want some chicken?”
“Ready or not, here I come.”
“Why was I reborn too?” asked Kent.
“Because I need my power and my powers come from my heart,” said Kit, “And my heart has always belonged to you. Because it was fire that created the first light.”
“There isn’t anything you can say that would make me change my mind.”
“Oh, I was done talking,” said Kit and she pulled out a gun.
“You wouldn’t dare,” said the man as he stared at the gun in Kit’s hand.
“Oh, she would,” said Roy.
“There isn’t anything else I can say.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
“You look nice,” said Leon, admiring the dress.
“I look like someone I’d enjoy killing.”
“Gnomes are people too.”
“No they’re not, they’re gnomes.”
“Say thank you.”
“For what?” asked the man and she knocked him out.
“Me, saving your life.”
“People might get hurt.”
“For Kit that would be a bonus.”
The building exploded.
“Did you see that?”
“See it? I did it.”
“Did you loose something?”
“Just my mind.”
“I’m dead not stupid.”
“Hey! Idiots, pregnancy doesn’t effect hearing; I can still hear you.”
“Normally I’d think of something clever to say before I killed you but I guess I’m drawing a blank right now.”
“Kit, be on good behavior.”
“I’m always on good behavior.” She killed the demon and he stared at her.
“Kit! Good behavior!”
“That’s as good as it gets.”
“The only way to deal with magic and not go crazy, is to, well, already be crazy.”
“I did what any sane person would do. I got really drunk.”
“Do you know that according to ancient magical law I would be well within my rights to dismember you?”
“You’re sick.”
“Coming from a parasite that feeds on the intestines of other living things that really leaves a bruise.”
“Are you going to let her talk to me like this?”
“Sorry, my hands are tied, Kit’s a psycho.”
“I have a fake laugh with you name on it.”
“I’m too small to be hurt.”
“I could stick you in the microwave and start pressing buttons.”
“I was thinking I could hold this blow torch up to your head.”
“Are you doing anything? I know you’re busy.”
“Actually right now I’m between beating confessions out of demons.”
“And now I have try to convince them not sue you.”
“You complicate things, Kit.”
“I just make things interesting.”
“You just want to push the envelope as far as it will take you.”
“Grab a seat before I pull out a stick and beat you until you fall down.”
“Jealousy is ugly and so are you.”
“We’re still not sure about what happened,” said the woman.
“You don’t remember? This psychotic young girl with a gun came here and terrorized the whole town.”
“I don’t remember that.”
“Really? You must be repressing it.”
“She must have been very insane.”
“Oh,” said the boy and he looked at Kit, “She is.”
“What just happened? I don’t understand.”
“The important thing is that you’re okay.”
“Remember they’re possessed so we can’t kill anyone.”
“Got it!” yelled Kit as bullets rained down on them. She stood up from behind the table they were using as cover and capped them both in the knees.
“KIT!”
“What? You said no killing, you never mentioned hurting.”
“You’re going to be very popular hell.”
~ Al Mustang
“After all of this time do you not instinctively fear me? Maybe you should write yourself a note.”
“Karma will take care of it.”
“I know, I’m going to run him over with my karma.”
“She just has a positive effect on people.”
~ Sarah Watson
“At least let me pretend to take care of you.”
~ Doc D
“Can ask you something?”
“You can ask whatever you want but I can’t guarantee I’ll answer.”
“Do me a favor at least try to minimize the damages.”
A man on the street corner dressed in rags was holding up a piece of card board. It was a sign that read: “The end is near.”
“It’s sad, this place always brings out the crazies.”
“What’s really sad is that he has no idea how right he is.”
“This is going to hurt.”
“What do we do now?” asked Leon.
“Hide!” yelled Kit and she pulled them both through the nearest door. She slammed it closed behind them and they waited in silence as the patrol passed.
“What room are we in?” He flipped on the light switch and gawked.
“It looks like the armory.” She was right. It could only be an armory. The room they’d just entered was nearly entirely full of weapons.
“Wow.” He looked at Kit, who was smiling.
“I just got a really good idea,” said Kit with a laugh.
“Oh dear god,” said Leon as she reached out and grabbed a gun.
“Oh my-.”
“God? No, sorry, you’ll have to settle for little old me.”
“Here, drink this.”
“Is it flammable?”
“I-.”
“Yawn.”
“I-.”
“No, you see I say ‘yawn’ because when I actually do it you don’t get it.”
“How’d you get captured by the demons?”
“Well, that’s not important is it?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, I walked out and saw them at which point I then burst into laughter.”
“Why?”
“Because apparently I can’t go a ******** day without getting in a fight.”
“If you were a normal person I’d tell you to be careful but seeing as you are who you are I’m just going to wish you good luck and ask that you not blow anything up.”
~ Marian Shepherd
“I can handle this.”
“Is this before or after all hell brakes loose?”
“I’m going to try to do it before. I like to sit back and enjoy hell.”
“See you in hell.”
“Do you have a plan?”
“Yep, this is all part of my plan.”
“Your plan?”
“Yep, my evil master plan.”
“You make me look forward to retirement.”
~ Doc D
“Did you break any laws?”
“Only the ones of physics.”
“The thing about epic love is that it always ends badly. It is the tragic things that make it epic. Sometimes I wonder why people still seem to think that it’s worth it.”
He handed it over to her.
“What is it?” asked Kit.
“It’s a magic wand.”
“This is a stick with a star on it.”
“I am the greatest mage of my age.”
“First, I’m going to save her then I’m going to kill her.”
~ Doc D
“Look, see how I’m not punching him, I think I’m growing.”
“It wasn’t a total disaster.”
“I got stabbed, right here.”
“You’re going to burn in a very special level of hell.”
~ Andrew
“I wasn’t looking for a fight, but I always seem to find one.”
“You know something I don’t, don’t you?”
“I know a lot of things you don’t know.”
“Oh, how I long for something dull.”
“Woohoo! What? It seemed like the thing to say.”
“Hell, what’s life without a few small explosions?”
“Kit will come up with a plan.”
“That’s good.”
“Perhaps you’re not recalling some of her previous plans.”
“That’s right, this psycho of a team leader that you all have went into that damn mission one week after being shot three times in the stomach,” said Doc.
“You make it sound like I did something crazy.”
“You’re like a trained ape without the training.”
“I might have made myself some enemies.”
“You made enemies?”
“I have spent my whole life running away. So I figured that it’s about time I started fighting and from now on when I run it’ll be towards something for a change.”
“You should give me a weapon, there might be a monster or something here.”
“If there is a monster it’ll be more afraid of you than you are of it, especially once it gets to know you.”
“Just once I’d like things to go according to the goddamned plan.”
“Next time you want to stab me in the back have the guts to do it to my face.”
“What about Kit?”
“Well, she’s crazy.”
“This ain’t right.”
“Neither is getting blowed up.”
“Distract them.”
“With what? Shadow puppets?”
“Every car that you’ve had has exploded.”
“Actually my truck caught fire.”
“You mean before it exploded?”
“Before it exploded.”
“Did you kill anything today?” asked Cole, excitedly.
“Yeah.”
“Kit? Why didn’t you get the job?”
“You know at the bottom of the application where it says: ‘Have you ever been involved in a felony? If so please explain.’? Well they only got the one tiny line.”
 Zegwarian310 · Thu Sep 27, 2007 @ 05:40pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
