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Version one
My happiness is jacked away,in some hidden unknown destination,
but the inquire is,where is my happiness,
what passageway do I need
to take to find the happiness,you
got the last bit of my sanity
I owned and shanked until it
was skinless,but the next inquire
is,how do we patch sanity's skin
back on and heal it's wounds?
When it's been
dismantled and ripped into pieces?
Version 2
My happiness is jacked away,in some hidden unknown destination,
but the inquiry is,where is my happiness,
what passageway do I need
to take to find the happiness,you
got the last bit of my sanity
I owned and shanked until it
was skinless,but the next inquiry
is,how do we patch sanity's skin
back on and heal it's wounds?
When it's been
dismantled and ripped into pieces?
Copyrighted by
fishyseaz v2,saying this piece
of work is yours,can get you
punished by the law.
(please comment and also rate crits are aloud,and also
tell me ways to improve) (and btw yes alot of things i said in this poem is metaphores)
And also tell me wich version you liked better.
- by fishyseaz V2 |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 03/18/2009 |
- Skip
Comments (5 Comments)
- halo_star29 - 11/07/2009
- Really good but i don't see the difference between the two.
- Report As Spam
- fishyseaz V2 - 05/09/2009
- Thank you, bunches for sharing your opinion.
- Report As Spam
- Im a Shape Shifting Angel - 05/09/2009
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I like both versions...
Kinda reminds me of my life.
5/5 - Report As Spam