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As everyday begins,
It must come to an end,
As everyday ends,
The darkness rolls in,
It is then that it struck me,
The darkness as it rolled in,
But as I was hit with it all,
I saw light in the midst,
It told me something I wouldn't of thought,
Yes, it told me I do love her,
As the darkness hit,
The last quiver from the light whispered it ever so gently,
See the darkness as the daylight dies,
This time do not fear it,
Let it hit, let it roll in,
Sit and be perplexed by everything you never thought you'd hear,
See the darkness as it fades into the difference,
As you were when it came, be happy it's gone,
Daybreak is here again,
This time, it's your turn.
- Title: See the Darkness
- Artist: D4RK-Poet
- Description:
- Date: 11/30/2008
- Tags: darkness poetry d4rkpoet
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Comments (7 Comments)
- Kaira Angel - 12/03/2008
- kinda creepy if ya look at it differently....but i still like it 5/5
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- D4RK-Poet - 12/01/2008
- No I didn't. It just kinda came into it and I didn't really notice it until I was done with it. And yeah I used "hit" a lot, I don't know why. After reading Nighthammer's comment I realized I did. I feel rather stupid by it.
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- G i i NGER BREAD - 12/01/2008
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I really like it! The concept is great and I love the meter. I agree with nighthammer that you use 'hit' a lot.. and you kind of start out with a little bit of a rhyme scheme.. i don't know if you did that on purpose.. and if you did, it totally disappears.
but i really do like it! - Report As Spam
- D4RK-Poet - 12/01/2008
- Thanks for the criticism nighthammer. Most people don't give it, they just say it is good or bad.
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- nighthammer17 - 12/01/2008
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Its a nice change from the usual poem about darkness, here we are to accept it and it is a benevolent force, a nice twist.
I like it, but I feel like some of the wording could be phrased a little differently, and (a personal preference) I would have tried to use more synonyms rather than using "hit" repeatedly.
Good job. 4/5 - Report As Spam
- 2009 helper - 11/30/2008
- kool this poem express wat i feel... keep the good job! 5/5
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- whitejade13 - 11/30/2008
- Wow. That was great! I loved it! 5/5 Read my poems and tell me what you think! biggrin
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