• s**t, I haven't written in this damn book in over a year. Last I wrote was after I tripped acid and ******** up my eye sight. Funny thing though- I never learn my lesson, blah blah blah drugs. So you read that book I'll give ya a new one.
    So, in April of 2011 I went to a anime convention, and made a lot of friends I seem to have kept. We strolled around the mall in costumes for the hell of it, a good group of maybe 15 of us. Keely dressed like a man, I'm a gypsy, and the rest of them? Either some type of Lolita costume or anime character that I don't recognize. I some how got into hooping and was pretty damn good at it. Bought a fire hoop to spin fire on the weekends.
    Met another few friends and practically lived with them in my fav city.
    We swan in public fountains. We played hide and seek in the park at 1am.
    We went to hookah bars and blew bubbles with the smoke. I bought a bunch of Chinese sky lanterns and we'd all let them go somewhere, depending on where we were.
    Heh... once Kimmy and I let one go in the city after hitting up their neighbors 80's party.
    The damn thing almost hit a house and a tree. some drunk dude ran out and yelled "S--T...
    S--IT!" It wobbled around but made it in the sky.
    IT'S A UFO!

    But somehow, that fall of 2011 when I started the hard classes in college...- s**t hit the fan.
    You see, I'd hid a ******** up secret. I, had an eating disorder.
    Well, it wasn't a secret for long. The pounds melted off. I got real close with my biology teacher. She subtlety mentioned she knew.
    "How much do ya weight, Jen?"
    I looked at her funny.
    "105".
    "hmm" she said contemplating what to tell me next.
    "You should really weigh 115-130 for your height. You know, the other day I was looking up pictures of those anorexic girls, and I thought... I've seen these pictures before. When they let all those prisoners out of Auschwitz!"

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    Flashback journal entry: July, 2011

    This has been the best summer of my life. I can't believe it is July. for once, I'm content with my life. Please let this never end...
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    You know, something about the end of that year became a blur, which is just the way I want it.
    I entered treatment, I never imagined I'd need inpatient treatment until my heart started to fail.
    Keely would come over to my house and say
    "Dude... you should really stop doing this, I mean nothing good can come of this."
    Don't you think I know that?" I said slightly annoyed.

    Lets face it, I lost my damn mind. I starved... and purged...
    When my gag reflex was shot- I'd drink soap to make myself vomit.
    I threw up in bags to hide it so no one could hear me flush the toilet.
    I was doing everything I swore I'd never do
    I became a ******** monster.
    105, 100, 95..90...85...84, 83, 82, 81...
    One day, everything just went white, and I flew out to Chicago for treatment
    when my heart started to fail.

    Diagnoses: anorexia nervosa, purge type.

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    flashback of journal entry, July 2011: I can't believe it's already July. This has been the best summer of my life! I wish it would never end... For once, I'm content with life.