Wow... spring break is going by really quickly. I can't believe it's almost over....fatal frame 2 is way too creepy.....I had a nightmare about it... it was so creepy, almost real......I've had a few nightmares lately and they scare me. I don't know what to think about them. A few involve my dad....I wonder if he'll try to contact me soon, maybe on my birthday. I know it sounds stupid, but I-I- I miss him....I don't forgive him. I don't think I ever will...after what he did...I know this sounds korny, but I was looking at the moon the other night and I wondered if he was looking at it too.....I wish I had the guts to write him a letter or something. I can't....I don't want to....it's confusing I know but I-I- I don't know anymore! I'm afraid to open up again.....it hurt so much what he said that I'm scared if I let him or anyone get close to me again that they'll do the same thing. I trust my friends, but after that I don't think I can let anyone too close. I still feel the pain from things that have happened to me over the years. Again I can't help but wonder if I'm a jynx. If people knew all the things that have happened and when they would understand why I think this. But they don't. I don't want people to worry about me and my problems. I want to help others. Mine aren't important. Then again the thought still wonders aimlessly in my head....what if I caused it? What if everyone's pain and suffering is my fault? What if I wasn't here? Would things be better? I don't know.........maybe
Sage_Hirihono · Sun Mar 27, 2005 @ 06:52am · 4 Comments |