Kenny, Kenny ,Mr. Kenny....how do i tell you how i feel? With out risking scaring you away? I just want to be honest with you and tell you how i feel for you, but at the same time...i don't want you to start acting odd around me. So....i guess its best to bite my tongue for now.
Emo books are my thoughts right now....i would rather tell you in writing than face to face...just because i don't want to forget what i was going to say. i can use the emo books to try and figure out about how you feel ab out things, and test the water and see how you react. To be honest, i would rather stay friends with you then be with you. Just because of the risk factor. I like you so much as who you are that i don't want to let you out of my life. Patientce is rewarded... so maybe someday i can tell you. Maybe something will happen. Or maybe i will just keep biting my tongue in fear of you running away from me?
Thats one of my biggest fears. People leaving me. Turning on me and leaving me alone and scared. I don't want to lose you after such a short time...it makes me smile to see you in the mornings and at lunch. Not too many of my other friends provoke an honest smile just by seeing them.
...i am so tempted to just set this back to public veiwable and sit back to see what unfolds. But ... not yet...not yet. I am going to see how things go with the emo book, and desipher my own emotions more first. I want to make sure that i really feel for him before i say much. It could just be a reaction from having such a good time at the dance with him. If that is the case, it will fade. If its deeper than that...well...i will know. Sooner or later i will know.....and then he will know too.
..maybe he already knows...maybe not. i can't read his m ind...or pick apart his emotions...
how in the hell did i switch from adressing this directly to kenny, to talking to myself about him. X_X too tired...too tired. Sleep is required. So ...goodnight.
 HatsuharuRocks · Wed Oct 25, 2006 @ 05:34am · 0 Comments |
