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This my friends is my competition story! please proof read it coz i needs opinions! the comps only for what 60 bucks but cumon its still somfin 2 win so anyway tell me wat ya think:
By Vanessa Whiteley
Death
He marches towards impending doom. The closeness of others pressing in on him, swallowing him. The rhythm of pounding steps fill his ears. Death surrounds him in the pale, distraught faces of his neighbours. Fate decides the outcome of the battle, the Gods decide their fate. In the light of dawn he views the battlefield. He sees death approaching. The marchers halt, the trumpets sound. The war begins, and all is lost.
The reaper comes this day. He feels it in his soul. The tug of life and concealing breath. The faintness of heart kills bravery, but he must go on. Dancing in the rays of light. Thrust left, parry right. Never ending motion. He tries his luck and yet he lives. Others fall around him, beneath him. Sucked into the earth. Relentless as he is, he feels himself dead. He feels the enemies’ pain. Their anguish flows through him. He sees their families, grieving for what is lost. Cradled in his mind, the voices of the dead. Heeding them he stops. Time stands still. Shadows fill the fields, flowing with the wind. He faces the reaper, sword in hand. Raising his weapon, he seizes his moment. Falling in time. Reality kicks in. The soldier before him sinks to the ground, bleeding in floods. Filled with fear he tightens his grip, as his life depends on his weapon. Hearing now the sound of his child, caressed by its mother. He longs for them now, as he never did before. Seeing what he cherished, the life he had. He knows it is inevitable. Concealed in his past. He sees red. Breathing heavily, he meets the ground. He is hit and falls unconscious.
He opens his eyes, full of pain. Time is lost, as is the war. He stands up drowning in blood. A sea of redness covers the vast village fields, destroying the natural order of simple country life. Death surrounds him. Hypnotising his senses and clouding rational thought. He runs. The only survivor but for those close to death. Echoes of steel clashing together form an orchestra of battle, joined by the wails and screaming of the bloody soldiers before him. Flashes of green as he meets the forest. A kaleidoscope of colours chase him towards insanity. A sound. Someone yelling. Darkness covers his eyes and he stops, moans, and falls.
rolleyes okay so its a little depressing but were doing alot about war these days so i thought id do it about that and well...that was the mood i was in...
 elkine · Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 01:32pm · 0 Comments |
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