Today.....i don't kno, *sighs* Today my boyfriend asked me how many boyfriends i had because my lil sister told him:Oh she had a lot of boyfriends!!! (omg) so he asked what was the most i've ever done.... and well 2 be honest quite a lil bit of things happened 2 me but i never gave up my virginaty. Now i'm an acertive female and i don't have any reason 2 lie about anything 2 anybody unless something i seriously believe is none of their business. I told him the truth because i have nothing 2 hide and nothing 2 lie about. He took it a lil hard... i just told him as if he was a friend, i just gave him the facts flat out or plain and simple, then i regreted the fact that i ever told him because i sorta knew what he would think. He just lied there on my bed with a strait face and eyes closed...He didn't say a word. So i just went on the computer 2 just brush off the situation and play on gaia fishing...but it didn't load. He grabed me by the arm,over 2 him(cuz we were on my bed and the computers on the side of the bed) to tell me that he always wanted 2 be with someone with the same views(those weren't his exact words but thats what he meant)like his past gf's weren't virgins and nothing was ever going 2 happen with them. So i asked him...so what r u tryin 2 say about me...he said i don't kno. So i got up and went by the window 2 look at the beach 2 calm my nerves, because i don't like crying and i don't like showing when i hurt because 2 me, that shows weakness. After a while he went over there and apologized, and i told him the truth behind the things i told him about that happened 2 me. He understood and he said he loves me, i told him i love him 2 but i still felt bad even tho those things were in the past...i just couldn't stop crying and i told him that i understand if he wanna leave.He told me he loves me and that he doesn't care about what i've done in the past because nothings ever gonna change. It would tear me up inside 4 a while if he left but as long as he's happy it's what ever, cuz i can't ever take hurting him cuz it would kill me besides not 1 relationship ever went right 4 me and this relationship i'm in now has lasted 4, 10 months so far and i feel blessed.So right now its 12:43am and i still feel like crying crying because, he dosen't deserve me... i really don't think so. Yeah i have guys at school and in the streets tryin 2 holla non-stop(tryin 2 get with me) but i don't want them and im not a whore, that's not what i want. Plus it's the same with him and the ladies.So i promised 2 never in my life cheat on him because its the truth and i swear it. So who evers reading this, if u have a bf or a gf or ur future 1 or whatever just ask them about their past relationships and whats the most they've done cuz its best 2 get the truth b4 the relationship get serious, and sorry 4 the long letter, i just had 2 get it off my chest and tell u y it's best 2 ask questions
 ms.kisses8 · Mon Jul 10, 2006 @ 06:14am · 0 Comments |
