So one of my most loved artist is on track right now and I don't want to regret that I shared his songs to you but I hate that listening to this particular song makes my heart hurt so much. It's cliché and I hate clichés but I'm word (and heart) vomiting and I just have to let this out because it's overwhelming me in a bad/sad kind of way and I don't want to drown in my own emotions. But yea, I remember singing this to you, dedicating this song to you in my own weird little way–that means without you knowing–long before you have ever heard of it. And when I finally shared it to you, you liked it; it's "relaxing," you said, you play it on repeat even though you have a lot more of his songs to listen to.That was the one you liked the most, and I was, in a way, relieved. And so, every time I hear it, I just . . . think of you. I liked the song, yes, but I liked the other ones better. But because you liked it, I find myself listening to it more often as if it's new to my ears, as if you were the one who suggested I listen to it. I guess you could say that I listened to that particular song in a new light. Pffft. Now that what we have turned to what we had, every goddamn time it plays on my ears, I think about you when I shouldn't have to, when I don't even want to. And I hate it. The song's still great, and I still love every line, every tune, and every single second of it but I hate you for turning one of my own things into a bad/sad memory. I remember you tweeting the lyrics to that song, and I can't help but speculate that you dedicate those words to your belle. Not jealous about it or anything, it just plain sucked that you still listen to the songs I gave you when you've stopped talking with me. You just suck so bad.
Chi Eveldon · Sun Jul 22, 2018 @ 05:52pm · 0 Comments |