it's when you watch the blood that fills the gap between your
loneliness and idiocy that you realise he never loved you.
when it drips down and you take the wetted cloth that holds
all the evidence of your hurt that you wonder more why you
believed him.
-
if each embrace was a shot through your veins
straight into your heart
you're left wondering what even pumps through it now.
(probably nothing useful
or lovable.)
-
you gather feelings like porcelain dolls and leave
them collecting dust on shelves.
they've been prettied up to the point
where you don't recognise them anymore.
so then why are you upset
when they shatter to the floor?
-
you count sheep you draw words you bash your head
against a wall and you still can't comprehend why you
even bothered to try.
perhaps it was loneliness perhaps it was stupidity
you don't know but by the time you've figured it out
there's a definitive hole in your skin.
(it turns out it was just
all you.)
-
words flow from your mouth like a waterfall that's remained
untouched for thousands of years yet tonight you're staring
at the keyboard like somehow it will tell you why you're not worth it
somehow it will give you the key to the door that makes you not
carve highways into your arm where no one can see them.
that somehow it will tell you how to be loved.
faggulicious Community Member 
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