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?_? *_* =_= T_T y.......just y |
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some times i wonder y i like romantic tragic stories, when 2 people r in love and then at the end they either die or people force them, to b apart gonk or letz say things don't end wit a happy ending.
Sometimes that's what scares me xp . I love my boyfriend but then it's so much against us, for example: his Nanna live right around the corner from me when i lived in Brooklyn (ny), we even went 2 the same school. Next, his mom takes him out of the school, then i moved away, like farther away somewhere in Queens. At that point my mother said, wow he leaves the school, we we're gonna move away, "maybe it isn't meant 2 be". Me and him over came that situation and c eachother everyday afterschool and on the weekends. blaugh . Now..... 4 me i'm personally losing control of almost each and every part of my sanity with in me cry , it's like....i don't understand. He's having minnor problems at home, His Nanna fliped on him( Fliped= scream ). and asked me IS THIS THE KINDA MAN U WANT!!!!then told him hes gonna drop dead . 1DAY ago his mom was asking him questions, at a certain point he didn't wanna answer 4 some personal reason and she told me, c how he treats his mother & his grandmother, that's how u tell by a person on how they treat their mother & his grandmother. And if u can put up wit it then...GOOD LUCK exclaim exclaim exclaim !.... now today i'm talking 2 him(boyfriend) Then he says i signed up 4 the Navi...now at first i took it as a joke lol arrow 3nodding , but, it wasn't his exact words but he said i'm serious.... neutral now i would be happy 4 him and all 4 it but first thing that hit me is like war=death, but he said, he's not going 2 war that they do something else (can't quite remember what that something was). Then he said don't worry im not going in2 fight. I just cant control the fact that what if something happens and at what ever navi base he's at gets blown up or something (God forbid) I can't take losing him gonk xp seriously. i never really take things seriously but this.... this is out of my hands.
#1. his mom don't want me wit him, him nanna don't want me wit him or they rather me not.
#2. We're going off 2 college soon (him a year 1st b 4 me), he wan't 2 go 2 the navi.
So, right now my heart is beating almost til it pounds the heck outa me, i'm not mad,....ok maybe a lil but a lil upset at the same time. What if i never get 2 c him again....no body can guarrentee that i will, not even him. so inside me at this moment, i feel like i'm dying, it'll wear off in a while but, with all this Y??????? just Y? i want him 2 be happy, and do what keeps him going or sets him free, u know what ever but, i just cant abdicate the relationship i refuse, i won't let go......until i cant hold on any longer and slip away like a fallen rose that's left the grips of one's aknowledgements....*sighs*.
 ms.kisses8 · Sun May 21, 2006 @ 02:18am · 1 Comments |
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