2-28/29
Oh. My. Gods......-ahem- first thing first. So after I wrote my little rant (yeah okay, huge) i took a shower. Lol. And suddenly something clicked (probablly nothing good) and i had a sudden burst of...self eloquence? I finally understood how to think about, understand, and explain two things that are very important mechanisms in my brain.
I have memories of memories or memories of feelings. Lol keeps me relatively sane. Any way it's lets me know what's there without actually remembering it or feeling it. It's like walking down the street. Suddenly you unconciously cross the street. If you were to look back to see what made you cross, you'd see it was the house. But no idea why the house made you cross.
Same thing. I can look back and see what memory or feeling is there, but not actually experience it.
Phasing......that weird thing i so often do when I dream that allows to basically have more than one dream at a time. Lol drives me relatively insane. So it all balances out biggrin
Anyways a good way to explain it. Remember those old holograph cards? You'd run your finger across it really fast to make that cool zipping sound? Yeah well smash all those little ridges down so you see all those frames at once. And that'd be a lot like phasing. Cept when i do it, the pics are overlapping and switch from nearly transperant and opaque....but let's not be technical.
I of course talked of other stuff. A lot of bad....a bit not. But i'm not talking about that.
Oh yeah. The eh....exlamation at the beginning. Ginzo talked to me tonight. Right after i stepped out of the shower.
-sigh- yes i know i'm terribly annoying with my problems constantly repeating them and bringing it up. But i'm in no mood to fuss with that s**t. Frankly, it made my chest tighten, heat flutter, and caused knots in my stomache. It was wonderful actually talking with him instead of a few lines of him being overly cheery. But he quickly got off to go to bed. And...i can't describe it. It's hurts all over again and i'm trying not to cry since mum and dad are still awake.
Hmph. Thinks i can't hear them sit up there talking....ugh. I hate it when people lie to my face. Yeah. Ok. Enough. I'll finish up the beginning tomorrow. Can't write it right now.
 BSPBleach · Wed Feb 29, 2012 @ 09:06am · 0 Comments |
