I won~! Not that I didn't think I was going to. ninja
Here's the breakdown of my results.
From LTL:
Creativity: 19/20
Flow: 10/10
Plot: 10/10
Characterization: 17/20
Interest: 19/20
Spelling: 10/10
Grammar: 10/10
Overall score: 95/100
I heart this story. I also diamond and spade it. Classic young adult fiction, in the grand old tradition of Alice in Wonderland and The Neverending Story. I really only have three things to complain about. First, there are not enough lush visual descriptions; at time you get caught up in describing what things are and forget to write from the perspective of how they look to the narrator. Second, I feel like you give more literary face time to characters you like better simply because you like them, without justifying that extra attention in terms of the plot. Third--watch your idiomatic usage! Characters in a D&D-type universe would not say "Earth to" anybody, for example. But these are cosmetic flaws, easily fixed in a few revision run-throughs. Bravo to you!
From serpenteyes:
Creativity: 20/20
Flow: 10/10
Plot: 18/20
Characterization: 19/20
Interest: 20/20
Spelling: 10/10
Grammar: 10/10
Overall score: 98/100
Superb. I liked this a lot. I love that you start Cerulean out with the doors. That is a really nice touch. I really like that he walks through doors to another world. And the fact that the story takes place in one of those doors-- brilliant. You lost plot points because the singular idea that they are after a dark wizard is a bit overdone. I realize that every fantasy story is essentially a get-rid-of-the-evil type of thing, but none the less, I still took two points for it. I really like the summaries of the chapters before you read the chapter. It's clever and humorous. I took a characterization point because I feel that you focus on Cerulean a bit too much. I realize he is immensely important, but I think a rounding out of the other characters more would really make this a smashing piece. All in all, it's sweet stuff.
 radioactive alchemist · Mon Feb 27, 2006 @ 05:00am · 0 Comments |
