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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
Getting To Me
"I want control
Even when you don't.

Would I still want control?
Even when you don't?
Would I still want control?
Even when you don't?
Would I still wnat control?
Even when you don't?"
Control by The Vincent Black Shadow


I must admit it's getting to me. It's crawling under my skin to snap my brain like beetles that eat away the flesh. Because of it, I am crawling on the floor and flickering my tongue, showing my truly evil side... the snake. The snake that I can be. Not a pheonix anymore or an ice queen. A snake and something else... A snake for the cunning way I patiently wait. I calculate for the perfect time to strike or when to become friends. Always calculating... cause that's how I survive.

I cannot return to a pheonix or ice queen until I learn to fly once more and lead people. I control only myself always. I sit alone now. Free time is alone time. Computer, television... anything. I am alone. Truly alone. I have ...friends. Friends? Yes. The word is unfamiliar. I remember that they are friends but... forget the warmth in my heart. I'm sure it will return one day ^^

I am still a smiling girl, one with spunk... but slowly... ever so slowly.. I am starting to resemble myself freshmen or high school years... I hope not. I hope not with all my heart.

I hope.

^^ Let's talk about such things much later. After all I've already cried my fill today. Don't let anymore tears fall until you reach that pillow. That way my dreams will be all the sweeter and tomorrow will be blessed. Yes! Tomorrow will be LUCKI! ... I can do this





 
 
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