Monday started out fine, but then tuesday morning it all went downhill. Spanish just isn't my subject, and never ever will be. I'm failing but I don't really care, next year I'm dropping it and it can rot in hell for all I care. But tuesday night I had a s**t load of work to do, so I stayed up late. I finally got to bed around 1:30 am and then slept in. I was late for school on wednesday, then we had to turn around, because I forgot my cookies for school. Then the day went by so slowly, I couldn't even forcus on something for too long. Wednesday was okay...I felt so sick it wasn't even funny. But I got through the day, then for the past two night's I've been really upset about things and I cried myself to sleep. So that was fun, I woke up with bright, red, puffy eyes and was like "Oh joy..."
Then I've been getting more and more depressed as it get's closer to Christmas. I noticed that today when I was giving out my presents to my friends. I mean I was happy in school, with my friends. But then when I got home I was so tired and just wanted to lay in bed and cry. I don't know what's wrong with me, seriously. I mean, normal teenage depression shouldn't be like this. I'm upset because of CHRISTMAS FOR CHRIST SAKE! That's not NORMAL! But I can't help it, feeling lonely is something that comes naturally to me, unfortunetly. I feel so sick, even now. I just want to sit downstairs in the dark and cry. I think it'd help me though. Just to sit down somewhere, where no one will hear me and cry. I just want to stop feeling like this.
I've still been having random body pains. Last week it was my back, then it went down to my right knee. For the whole week of school, I had trouble going up and down stairs. It hurt soo ******** much that I didn't want to get up in the morning. Lazy much, right? *lol* But now, it's moved down to my left ankle and it's killing me! I just want to chop it off. The ******** thing's annoying! ROAR! It hurts to walk...Well right now it hurts to keep my eyes open. So I'm probably gonna go off to bed. Maybe read a little before listening to music and crying myself to sleep again. *sighs* That's my life, sound fun right?
I just feel like going to sleep and never waking up...
Kanato · Fri Dec 23, 2005 @ 03:55am · 0 Comments |