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If today was your last day |
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Eariler tonight, I was feeling a bit depressed. i toke a medical quiz and it told me I should scheduel an appt. with my doctor. Ever since my parents started fighting, my depressio has been growing worse and worse. Things got a bit worse when my sister died in that car crash, and even more so when my mom decided she was going to think about leaving my dad.
My life is pretty hetic, but I look at the map of the US on my living room wall and think, "There's at least five other families that are going through the same thing, so get over it, and remember, you're just another fish in the sea of dispair." As much as I would like to talk to someone about this, I can't because I know there are people far worse then my self.
As much as I would like to cry, I just slap a false smile on my face and get over it.
my mom is thinking of leaving my dad for another man. When she asks how I feel about it, I usually say "As long as my mother is happy, then I'm fine with anything." I can't help but think other wise. Don't get me wrong, I'm tired of being called a "Shithead" or other names to that affect, but at the same time, I don't want to leave.
A couple nights ago, I was laying in my bed, thinking to my self, when I started to Daydream.
In this daydream, it was a couple years in the future, mom had left my stepdad, and gone to the other man. Well, for some strange reason, I had come back to my stepdad, and was standing at the gate, staring at the house. Suddenly, I was teleported into the house to stand infront of a pathetic figure sitting my dad's computer chair. I looked at the man and smiled a sad smile, softly speaking the words, "Hello, Mr. (insert name)." a few tears fall from my bloodshot eyes, and I ask him "May I still call you dad?"
Snapping out of the daydream, that sentence echoed in my ears a few times, and I could feel tears begin to whell up in my eyes. I think it's trying to tell me something, and I just won't listen.
Even now, as I was writing that dream, the tears were pouring from my eyes, and I could bearly see the keyboard.
My life sucks, yes, but I know other people's lifes are far worse. I'm just going to grin and bear it. So, no sympathy will flow to these ears, and no words of sorrow will fall from these lips.
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My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?
Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?
And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?
 Sinful Fool · Wed Jun 24, 2009 @ 06:38am · 1 Comments |
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