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The Remedy was Memory: Lost Without Words |
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Saruko did not get much sleep the previous night. It was very cold so she nuzzled close to Kuroshi. She thought a lot through generally the entire night. It feels like I am being a nuisance to all my friends. I think I should just keep my mouth shut. Not even if I am bored. Even if I just have to reply to some insult. On the other, hand something else if anything. At that conclusion, Saruko fell asleep leaving her a couple hours of sleep. Thus, tried to start a more quiet and calm Saruko-life.
That morning, everyone in the household had greeted Saruko with a “Good morning!” but all she replied was with but a flash of a smile.
Every morning, Kuroshi walked Saruko to school and followed her to class to keep company. Even so, no words escaped from Saruko’s lips as they walked. Kuroshi had suspected that she had not a restful night.
“SARUKO!” a young girl’s voice called out from behind the two. They stopped and looked behind and spotted a slender girl with straight dark brown hair that reached the middle of her back. The girl had fair skin a youthful face. She was walking beside a boy who stood taller than she was. His hair looked as if he slopped grease in it and rolled around the bed thus attaining a bed-head style.
“Good morning Aya, Jordan.” Kuroshi greeted the two as they approached.
“Morning, Kurikun!” Aya yelled out. “Morning Saru-chan!” she turned to Saruko.
“Hey.” Jordan simply waved to the two.
Saruko replied with a peace sign and a fake smile. The four then continued their walk to school. Kuroshi noticed that Saruko’s silence was not of fatigue.
“Saruko, Are you okay?” Kuroshi asked. His face filled with suspicion.
Saruko only nodded. “You sure?” he began to frown.
Saruko stared back into his eyes then looked away, concentrating on where her feet planted.
Kuroshi sighed. “Let’s just get through school. We are going to TALK about this. Emphasize on talk. You understand me?” Kuroshi scolded.
Aya and Jordan looked over at Saruko who looked forward with a troubled expression. She nodded her head.
Kuroshi sighed again. “Saru?” he asked trying to catch her eyes again. Unfortunately, she had looked up at him with the same dead eyes she gave when she pleaded for him to sleep on the same bed as her.
“Hey!” Kuroshi exclaimed making a guilty face. “Don’t look at me like that! It makes me feel bad!” he yelled out.
“You are ba--” Jordan began, Aya knew Jordan well enough to cover his mouth before he could finish his sharp-tongued sentence. Kuroshi gave him a dirty look, and then turned back to Saruko.
“You wanna hang out today at lunch? I’m gonna stick around.” Kuroshi looked up hopeful.
Saruko’s reply had surprised the other three. Saruko had smiled so warmly towards Kuroshi.
“Oh wow! I haven’t seen that smile in a while!” Aya laughed. “I mean, it even took Jordan off guard!” Aya began laughing even harder.
Everyone had leaned over to look at Jordan’s expression, which was stunned. Everyone began laughing, even Kuroshi was laughing quietly on the side.
When Jordan got over it, everyone had eventually stopped laughing. Everything went silent but the four sets of footsteps. Again, Saruko started to look saddened. Kuroshi noticed it and tried thinking of something. Something that could lift her spirits high enough to make it through the day.
“Dreams are quite magical, huh? It is the best place to go when you are down in the dumps. Some people dream about having a picnic on Mt. Everest, or having a job that you love and get paid well.” Kuroshi began. He looked at the three teenagers’ now intent ears and eyes. “Dreams of finding the right guy or girl and enjoying your time with them…” He looked at Saruko. “It’s awesome until you wake up. Thinking that it sucks to return to reality where there is pain, sorrow, anger, jealousy and all that crap. But really… you shouldn’t think like that.” Kuroshi smiled. “Rather than the want of dream, try the want of the reality of the dream. To make that dream a reality. It will not be easy though because at some points, you will hit quite a few bumps, possibly falling off your feet and becoming very discouraged. Just remember to try, try again. Moreover, keep fighting your way to the top, to your goal. If you need help, I’m always available.” He said welcoming. “Try not to get discouraged. Think of this quote: ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’” Kuroshi put his arm on Saruko’s shoulders and ruffled her hair. “You got it?” he said playfully.
Saruko giggled. “Yes! I got it!”
“Mmhmm… I thought that would get you going!” Kuroshi said confidently.
“Wow that was pretty deep.” Jordan commented. “Where did that come from?” he asked.
“Yeah, I kinda needed to hear that. Thanks! That was awesome.” Aya clapped.
“Hn~ I didn’t think such words could come from such a seemingly heartle--” Jordan began, scoffing at Kuroshi’s well-being. Nevertheless, the hand of Aya had silenced Jordan.
Aya frowned at Jordan. “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all! Seriously!” she scolded. Jordan whacked her hand off his face.
“It was a compliment!” he barked. Aya just whacked his head and told him to shut up.
Kuroshi ignored Jordan. “Well, it was pleasure to share that with you kids. It makes things a lot easier.” Kuroshi said. “You guys are teenagers, at the age of chemical changes so you guys go through some tough s**t. It should make things a lot easier.” Kuroshi smiled. The smile quickly changed into a serious face. “Trust me…,” he said coldly.
Saruko noticed it right away and tried to keep a smile on her face. It bothered her so she latched onto his arm with hers. Kuroshi broke his cold gaze into the nothingness and looked down to a warm Saruko-smile. Saruko bumped into him every few steps. Kuroshi could not help but smile back at her.
The four walked slowly to school, slower than they usually would. Therefore, by the time they got to school, the bell had rung and the four split in half, scrambling to get to their first period.
Saruko had ceramics class; her teacher had eagerly welcomed Kuroshi into her class. The teacher had something for Kuroshi to do. Today, she allowed him to make a clay box. The assignment that Saruko had already began. He had a hard time trying to make the panels, wondering how everyone else, especially Saruko, made their’s perfectly flat. He lifted a panel that was so lumpy; you could barely call it flat.
Saruko stared at it and looked up at Kuroshi who stared at the lumpy panel questionably. Saruko busted into laughter. “Go get some newspaper, two rulers and a rolling pin.” she told him. He brought the items, squeezing between oblivious teens who had their chairs pushed out unnecessarily far out. Saruko showed Kuroshi how to make panels correctly and more accurately. Kuroshi caught on quickly and worked on the box until the bell rang.
As they were waiting in line to the sink to clean up, Saruko waited behind Kuroshi. Her hand covered with clay. “Hey Kuroshi?” she asked convincingly lost. Of course, he looked back and saw a clay-covered hand. Saruko giggled. Kuroshi laughed at Saruko‘s silliness.
“Saruko, you know if you’re hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer.” Kuroshi said seriously. Saruko put her hand to her face. “Oyama, Saruko!” Kuroshi exclaimed.
“What?” Saruko freaked out. Kuroshi pressed her clay-covered hand onto her face and laughed hysterically.
“I can’t believe you fell for that!” he laughed.
“Shut up!” Saruko laughed.
After third period, it was lunch. Saruko got herself a plate lunch and sat under the tree where Kuroshi had first taken her when she was so overwhelmed that she had fainted. She sat next to him. “Kuroshi, may I ask you something?” Saruko waited for Kuroshi’s attention to turn to her as she bit into a piece of chicken.
Kuroshi grabbed the other piece of chicken, biting into it. Kuroshi waited intently for Saruko to go on.
“What were you thinking when you were telling us how helpful your lecture would be?” Saruko asked.
Kuroshi paused. His face had quickly changed to a melancholy expression.
“I mean, if you don’t mind me asking. If you do not want to say then that is fine. I was just a little curious, that’s all.” Saruko told him, now feeling uncomfortable and sorry she had asked.
Kuroshi remained silent. He continued to eat his piece of chicken slowly. Saruko felt horrible for being a nosy pest. She had lost her appetite, she offered it to Kuroshi who had stared at it and looked up at her questionably.
“I’m not really hungry… you can have it.” Saruko told him.
Kuroshi nodded and took the plate. When he had finished, he tossed the plate away and collected his belongings. “You can go through school without me for the rest of the day, right?” he asked standing before her.
“Huh? Oh. That’s fine.” Saruko said in a melancholy tone.
“Alright then, I’m gonna go… I’ll see you when you get home.” Kuroshi said and at that, he turned and walked away.
“Oh okay bye.” Saruko said quietly. “Sorry…” she said, but he was already at the bottom of the hill. I did not mean to strike a nerve… I had no idea it would affect you like that…
After school, Saruko was too upset to hang out with her friends so she walked home.
As she came to a hill, at the top, she saw a group of older boys. As she got closer, one of the boys looked at her and the rest looked. Saruko heard the faint mumbling of them talking they kept looking at her. Saruko grew uncomfortable and took her chance to cross the road when the street was clear of cars.
The boys walked in her direction on the opposite side of the road. As soon as they were just across from Saruko, they ran across the street. Saruko walked faster, widening her stride and kicking her grip with quick flicks with her toes. She felt fine until she heard foot thumps like that of a group of people running towards her from behind her.
“Hey!” One of them called out. Saruko peeked behind her and saw the boys. She tried to run away but one of them grabbed her and yanked her back then the four boys cornered her.
“Go away! Go do something else than bother me!” she yelled. The boys only laughed. One of the boys muttering to another chuckled. “Silly girl“, he said.
One came behind Saruko and attempted to feel her up. Saruko was very uncomfortable and felt threatened and reacted by jerking her elbow back into the violators’ face. The boys focused on the fallen boy and Saruko took this chance to run. She grabbed her bag, which had locks that even with the combination, would not open and whipped it behind her. She heard the lock hit someone followed by a scream of agony. Saruko sprinted, trying to get home but was unsuccessful when she felt a large hand grab hers and yank her back with so much force that she fell.
“Sorry…” one of the boys voice apologized. “My a** is on the line so I have to do this,” he told Saruko.
Saruko looked up to a tall boy with long light-brown hair, neatly tied up and straight. The boy’s bangs were fashioned to fall over his left eye. His eyes were green, his skin fair. His eyes looked guilty. “What about me? You guys are going to kill me!” Saruko said in horror.
The boy ignored her. “If you start screaming, which I’m sure you will, scream my name, Dwayne,” he told her. He began to unzip his pants.
Saruko screamed in fear of the reality of what was happening. Scared of what one of her fears was becoming true and she was completely helpless. “AAH!” She squeezed her eyes shut. Saruko prayed that this was but a nightmare. Hoping someone would save her.
Saruko heard a battle cry followed by grunts and physical hits. She heard the boys’ yelps of pain. Saruko stopped screaming and looked up.
Saruko had wondered. Saruko had wondered who her savior was. In addition, he turned around revealing who he was.
“Saruko, Are you okay?” a familiar, deathly-deep voice asked in fear. His face deeply expressed concern and guilt. “Kuroshi…” Saruko whispered as She looked at his expression, full of hate. However, the hate did not channel towards her. Not to Saruko could tell that he was enraged with himself. His face showed more hate than the first day she met him after her memories disappeared. Saruko froze with fright, choked up by Kuroshi’s heroism.
The long pause distracted Kuroshi enough for one of the boys to pull his knife out. He plunged it into Kuroshi’s back. He plunged it so deep, the handle nearly touched Kuroshi’s skin. Kuroshi screamed in shear pain. The boy was the Dwayne-boy. Moreover, Saruko saw the fear in his eyes as Kuroshi grunted in pain, glaring at him, wanting to kill him. Dwayne took a step back, refusing to do more. The leader of the boys shoved Dwayne out of the way and ran towards Kuroshi with his fist ready to inflict a punch on Kuroshi. Kuroshi, already filled with the desire to kill, had enough, unsheathed his katana, and with a swift strike, sliced off the leader’s fist.
Saruko’s eyes widened. “K-Kuroshi…” she whispered to herself. Her face showing an array of confusion, worry and, fear.
The leader began to freak out at the bloody stub at the end of his arm. He grabbed the detached hand and ran. The other two boys that had barely touched Kuroshi followed their leader. The Dwayne-boy however, sat in the spot where his leader had shoved him. His face struck with fear, too frozen with it to move or say anything.
Kuroshi dropped onto his knees. His body vigorously shook with pain and weakness. Saruko ran up to him. “Kuroshi, Are you okay? Ohm, of course not, I mean, you have a knife protruding from your back!” Saruko yelled frantically.
Kuroshi looked up at Saruko with a calm expression. It puzzled Saruko. “The reason why I left, Saruko…” Kuroshi began “was because I was going to cry. And I didn’t want you to see me as a weakling.” he explained. “In my childhood, my father was a drunk who would beat me for no reason. In addition, my Mom… well, she did nothing about it. For that, I tried to be with your parents as much as I could.” Kuroshi slowly brought his hand up. His arms shook with the rest of his body it was very painful. “And when they had you, I had vowed to protect you.” he grasped the knife handle. “Because of me, because I let my own problems get in the way; I had almost broken my promise.” Kuroshi yanked the knife out in one quick movement. He winced slightly at the sharp pain.
Saruko was stunned. Her only reaction was to hug him deeply. Saruko began crying with guilt and concern. “You do more than enough for me… I told you that,” she whispered. Kuroshi slumped into her embrace. “Crying is not a sign of weakness. It shows something deep. It emphasizes an emotion. Emotions including pain, sorrow and joy can be emphasized through crying.” Saruko began a slight rocking motion. It had naturally occurred to Saruko that it might bring comfort to the both of them. “Do me one favor, and just be you. In the least, let yourself be you around me. That way, we could be the best of friends.” Saruko stopped. A tear dropped onto Kuroshi’s face.
Kuroshi made an expression that expressed how he wanted more than that. Saruko could not see it. Perhaps we could be more than that…. he thought. Instead of dwelling on it, he melted into Saruko’s hug and savored every second of it.
The two had then disturbed by hesitant footsteps. Saruko looked up and her heart jumped. Kuroshi noticed the sudden jump in her heart; he turned around and held his katana up.
“No, wait!” Dwayne’s voice yelled out. “Look… I am sorry. I know I can’t say or do anything to make up for what I was going to do.,” he stated.
“You...” Saruko bellowed. Saruko raised her voice. Saruko revealed a side she never had and it had surprised Kuroshi. “You are a ********’ a*****e! You tried to rape me!” Kuroshi instantly switched his gaze to a glare fixed on Dwayne. “And you wanted me to scream your name?” she questioned enraged.
“The boy whose hand you sliced off was my cousin. He admired my height and my power of intimidation with but a glance.” Dwayne started. “He tried to get me to join and I refused. I did not want to be a part of something violent, which I am not. Enraged, he threatened to kill my Mom, taking her hostage in his house. I had no choice but to join.” He began to look guilty. He could not bring himself to face the two with eye contact. “I didn’t do much except to intimidate people and stand on the side watching them within the two weeks I joined. He wanted to “encourage” me…” Dwayne turned around and pointed to two gashes that crossed each other. The scar looked like the Japanese katakana letter ‘me’. The gashes looked fresh too. “He said he’ll keep doing that until I eventually bleed to death…” his voice shaking in dear. “I was scared… I did not want to do anything. However, he gave me no choice. At least not one I’d want.”
“Well I’m sure his gang days are long gone now. Go back to your Mom and enjoy life.” Kuroshi said sharply. He obviously did not want to see Dwayne anymore.
Dwayne stood up, looking hurt emotionally. “She’s dead. He said he did not do anything but I wanted to see with my own eyes. I snuck into his house when he was out clubbing. I found her… but it was too late.” a tear streamed down his face.
Saruko looked at him sorry.
“I built her a coffin and buried her by the shore. She said if she had a choice of where and how to die, she wanted to die in a surfing accident. My Mom had always loved surfing with a deep passion.” Dwayne said, tears spilling from his eyes. He looked up when he forced himself to quiet his bawling. “Please! Take me in!” he pleaded. “I don’t have no where to go without that murderer knowing where I am! I don’t want to be near him!” He bawled.
Saruko paused. “Help Kuroshi up and be his support while we walk home.” Saruko said finally.
“But Saru--” Kuroshi complained. Kuroshi did not like the idea of it already.
“If anything goes wrong, you can kill him or whatever.” Saruko said coldly. Dwayne flinched at her sharp words.
The three arrived home. “Dad, my friend Dwayne is gonna stay with us for a while. I just found out he was in a gang. I made him quit.” Saruko lied.
“Uh… I guess that is fine. B-But he sleeps in the guest room!” he stuttered. Saruko knew her Dad was a little iffy about a gangster being in his house.
Another room next to Saruko’s room had been to consider as the guest room. Saruko showed Dwayne, she told him where the kitchen and bathroom were. Explained important factors such as they recycled, watch how much he eats and drinks because money is a little tight, to clean after himself and others if no one else is. At that, Saruko left and attended to the wound inflicted on Kuroshi’s back. Rio walked into her room to check on the two and saw the wound.
“Saruko, what in the world… Where did that gash come from?” Rio yelled.
Saruko turned quickly, frightened by the sudden disturbance. “When Dwayne quit, his gang attacked us…” Saruko said, lying again.
“Is this why you seem a little upset with him?” Rio asked.
Saruko paused. Remembering she had to pretend to be Dwayne’s friend so, he could stay. “Yes…” Saruko answered. She made so her emotions and attitude supported her story.
Rio shrugged and left the room. Saruko finished tending to Kuroshi a few minutes later and without a word, left the room and entered the kitchen. She grabbed six packs of saimen and a large pot, filling it about half way and setting the stove on high. Saruko waited for the water to boil then opened the packs and slowly dropped them into the pot. She stirred them until they were soft then mixed in the seasonings. Saruko turned the stove off and made herself a bowl.
Dwayne came out of his room, following the saimen-scent. “Ooh! I had not had saimen in a while. Thanks so much for going through all this trouble.” Dwayne smiled.
Saruko stared at him. Saruko had then noticed her Dad on the chair in the dining room. “Oh, you’re welcome! Please, help yourself.” She replied. Kuroshi walked around Dwayne and spotted the steaming pot.
“Eat, Kuroshi…,” she said harshly. It was always hard to have Kuroshi eat. He always thought it was too much for people to make him food. Especially by his loved ones.
“I-I’m not hungry.” Kuroshi said. A moment of silence took place as Kuroshi’s stomach growled so loud, it turned even Rio’s head. Kuroshi laughed sheepishly.
“Oh really? You must be kidding me…” Saruko glared at him. “Eat or I’ll…” she paused to think of a good threat.
“Or you’ll what?” Kuroshi laughed.
Saruko steamed. “What do you want?” she asked.
“I want you to sing to me.” Kuroshi said.
“Starve then!” she snorted.
“Wait! At least sing with the radio on while I’m around?” he pleaded.
Saruko paused, blushing. “Fine!” she finally agreed. She stomped off to her room after that.
Kuroshi made himself a bowl after Dwayne and both sat at the table to enjoy it.
“You already know she’s good, don’t you?” Dwayne sneered.
Kuroshi paused for a moment. His eyes rolled up to Dwayne. He nodded then slowly continued eating.
“She sings loud? Does she sing loud enough for me to hear from my room?” Dwayne asked.
“Only if she knows nobody is there…” Kuroshi said.
“Hey, how should I have my hair? I don’t care what; I just don’t want it to remind me of that stupid gang.” Dwayne said in a low tone.
"Chop it off. I do not know. Anyone you admire?” Kuroshi asked.
“Huh? Oh, I admire you…” Dwayne said.
Kuroshi spat the soup back into the bowl. “Pardon?” he asked, not sure if he had heard correctly.
“Yeah, I mean, you took on four gang members. Gangsters, man! Moreover, just for a girl, what? Three years younger than you?” Dwayne explained.
“I had vowed to protect her when I was three… of course I would be there.” Kuroshi grumbled.
“You weren’t there to begin with and almost didn’t make it... so why?” Dwayne stared at him.
Kuroshi dropped his head slowly. “Because I had let my problem get in the way… I had distanced myself from her.” Kuroshi said. Surprised at how he was spilling to a person he had just met half an hour ago.
“I see, well… I will wash the dishes tonight. Sorry about that, man.” Dwayne said. He grabbed his and Kuroshi’s bowls and washed them in the sink along with the rest of the dishes. “Oh, and one more thing… how did you come to her rescue? Like… how’d you know she was in trouble?” Dwayne had asked.
Kuroshi clenched his fist. “I didn’t… I was going to school to apologize for ditching her when I heard her screams and ran as fast as I could.” Kuroshi explained. Having said that, he walked into Saruko’s room and shut the door.
Saruko plugged her mp3 player into some speakers and played the song “Realize” by Colbie Caillat. “I’m gonna pretend you’re not here…” Saruko said in that grumpy child-voice.
Kuroshi sat next to her on her bed. He tried to jerk a smile back as Saruko begun to sing. Although, she had sung quietly until the chorus came on then Saruko began to sing as loud, clear, strong and yet beautiful as she did that one night. “If you just realize what I just realized, then we’d be perfect for each other and we’d never find another.” she went.
Saruko flopped backwards, lying on her bed and singing comfortably. As the chorus came up again, Kuroshi slowly leaned back, his head resting on Saruko’s arm.
“Just realize what I just realize, we’d never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now.” Saruko sang. Kuroshi dug one of his arms under Saruko, plopped the other over her body, and hugged her close to him. Saruko did not mind.
As Saruko was finishing the song, she looked at Kuroshi’s face and just then, a tear, streamed down his cheek from his closed eyes.
 SikM808 · Thu Apr 02, 2009 @ 04:31pm · 0 Comments |
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