So ever since I turned 13, like almost right on the day, life started getting a very suckish color to it.
And so for almost four years I've been praying so hard for several things. But as time progressed one request stood out among others:
Confidence.
Confidence in myself and in my abilities. The very thing I was so lamenting in my last journal. I wanted it so bad...I felt like I was very satisfied with who I was, except for mainly that I could never fight down the constant insecurity.
And then this week came. And all of the sudden, each day I started actually BELIEVING people when they complimented me.
I suppose it was triggered by several people assuring me that I was a good friend, a good singer, a fun person, etc., and all in a short period of time. But finally my heart had been prepared to actually think a little about why they were saying what they were. And suddenly I believed them. You know what? I am a good friend. I can sing really well. And I'm not all that annoying at all.
The list goes on. I almost can't believe it. It just built up all through the week and suddenly I found myself having incredible confidence, what I've been craving for four years.
Hopefully this isn't another false alarm, and I keep this for the rest of my life, if not at every moment, at least in general.
Oh, but if it does go away, at least for now I am terribly happy. ^^
I don't think I expressed myself very well in this journal but oh well. It's hard to explain.
 LadyAlisyn · Sun Feb 08, 2009 @ 08:45pm · 1 Comments |
