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sum of my life from freshman to jr
i just read most of all my journal entries and about 2 times i say im going to start writing in this more. i never did lol. i should though. most of the time im the only one who reads these. it kind of like a self reflection on ho my mood can change. its funny how it can. right now it would be nice to have friends around. dont seem to have any right now. i liked it when i had frinds i knew i can count on . a real friend
a friend who can be there and all that stuff. i am a real good friend to the friends that i had. the thing that always suck is that i loose connection with them... i always do. blah..... in a way it could be my fault.. it probably is my fault. my only true best friend one who i know i can trust 100% is my cousin. and do to some stupid stuff he has done he is now in prison. he was the person who made life 59 times funner
a person who i can talk to about personal things a person who i can make stupid jokes with and he will understand. maybe talk nerdy and know whats going on.
we were a team. the best team. lol he was my mojo. i got a lot of girls when i hung out with him or even when he was just out of prison. i was in a good mood enough to let people know that i am an uberly kool person. but when he went away
i got hit hard. not only did he go to prison. my nana had died. school was bad
it all came over me like a huge tidle wave. crashed me down and that was it. i stopped going to schoolmstayed home teaching myself new things being bored. i rarely slept. on avrage i would sleep once every 2 days. i rarely went outside. i was very lazy. i got fat. it was like that for about 3 months. then my dad calls and ask me to work for him. it was good for me so i did it. i worked in construction as an ac pipe fitter. i hadnt talked to a person my age in about 4 5 months besides my family. then that summer i got into manga. spent a lot of money on those. then school time came up. it was really weird. havnt had any friends or anyone to talk to fora long time and now i was going back to school. i became the quiet person. then i had made a friend. nicole she is the one who got me started on gaia. we were good friends and then something happened and she never came back to school. she was like one of my only friends at the time. so when that happened things were super weird. i made another frind at the end of the year his name was jesus.. lol not bible jesus.(doont like that one much lol) but he was kool. then another summer came..*seigh* i had fallen inlove and spent a little over a week with her. it was long distance so yeah. well after that went back to school. spent most of my time at school hanging out with my cousin but had no friends really my only friend was the girl from summer. we were a couple. then i started to make friends. not close friends but friends. things happened and it was over. then i started hanging out with my friend mike aka bubbles.(lol hes not gay lol) then another summer came. but before summer started bubbles was going crazy over this one girl. talked to her everyday. he liked her too much i think. well anyways
he didnt like people because they liked her. summer happened and i do nothing
still not back to normal but maybe this year i will be.... well i come back to school
mike was like hmm just like another student.. not like a friend...somethig had happened. idk what but he was different. hs not so different as how he act but how he is friend ship wise twords me he isnt the same. we used to hang out a lot an now its like eh dont need ya. so srew that . now i have no friends. i want to make new friends. maybe a girlfriend. somone to care for. blah im thinking too ahead. i just need friends right now. real friends. well
now as for the next time i write in this who knows but for those who actually read this.. i thank you a lot for taking your time to read it
i can say hopefully i start writing in this more. it almost like meditaion except meditaions a lot better. lol