You fear for your sanity?
Sanity is lost and achieved all the same. Time is the one who takes it away, along with certain events that happen within itself.
But lately I have come to think that there is no "sanity" or "insanity". There is only a difference of opinion, views, and in most cases overall thoughts about society and oneself.
However the huge majority teaches that any thought that is different is "insane" and those those.. "insane" thoughts are discriminated against. And because of that, the difference we, as humans, naturally have are afraid to surface with a regrettable fear of being silenced or pushed back. But, being yourself, that might not be your case at all.

I am sorry that you are having hardships and depression, but everyone has a point of great sadness, and well... thoughts of suicide.
So therefore, it is not a token of insanity after all, or the lack of sanity.. whatever you may call it.

And channeling your life into video games, comics, the fantasy worlds could be influencing you to these recurring thoughts even more. You turn to the source that doesn't help you at all, for the reason simply to distract yourself from feeling the negative feelings. That is, in my opinion, the same as an alcoholic who turns to boozes and beers to drown away their sorrows, which in reality all it does is screw them up more, pulling them into even worse of a depressed state.

So, in short, I think you are healing yourself in a very illusion-esque reality.

You are a very strong character in my book. Because for the most part you don't give a rat's a** about other people's opinions on you, and you are completely honest with everyone. Life is a thing worth living, because it does have it's downs, more downs than ups for the most part, but if you try finding the good things among the many bad things, you are sue to find them. Waiting out the times of sadness is really all one can do, but you won't have to wait it out alone. You can always come to me or Blake, even though Blake seems like a "you must take care of yourself" type guy he actually cares very much for the happiness for his friends. :3