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I'm rarely as ignorant as I pretend to be. |
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I really have been trying, guys, to be more honest, with myself...and with you.
But it's not as easy as I would hope.
All the time I pretend to be an ignorant little girl who's just happy with life, but inside I just want you to know:
When I feel awkward, or when I don't know what to do exactly, I often pretend I just don't understand what's going on.
So please, watch out for me. If you think I'm not being honest with you, call me out on it. Because I can't do it by myself.
*sigh* I hope I'm not exaggerating. But seriously, I haven't been uberly depressed for a very long time. It used to be that I would cycle between being happy and depressed, with the depressed times being very long and almost taking over my life.
Then the worst year of my life ended halfway through and became the best. I am rarely depressed now like I used to be, and it's all thanks to the new friends I've met, and the old friends I've become closer to.
Thank you so much, guys, and I'm sorry if I seem like I always receive and never give. I really am trying, maybe too hard, to be a good friend, but sometimes I feel like I have nothing to offer, because I really am just a little girl that everyone always has to take care of.
But hopefully I will continue to grow with your help.
Geez, I know I find it so hard to be serious around people...so bear with me here... I can never be serious around people for the same reason I can never share my hidden creativity. It's because I'm afraid my serious ideas are stupid, or obvious, or just wrong, I guess. Same for my creativity. As much as I like to pretend otherwise, I really do care what people think, very very much. Maybe not in all the ways you would think, but definitely in many ways.
I guess that's all I wanna say here. Oye. XD
 LadyAlisyn · Thu Jun 12, 2008 @ 01:05am · 1 Comments |
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