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Well, I've got some news!
I've been banned from Gaia and grounded for about three weeks. : D
Because I didn't get up to go hiking with my family.
It's magical.
<3
I'm still on Gaia. Just... slower-ishly. And I can only get on during the night. See, my Wii can surf the intraweb, but my mom doesn't know that. xD So I'll be using it to get on Gaia during the night. Unfortunately, typing on that thing is pretty much... well, it's ******** hard. xD;;;
Basically, my brother had been planning for me, him, and my mom to go on a hiking trip this Saturday. But he never asked me if I even actually wanted to go. I've been getting sick of him not even asking me if I want to do these activities, so come Saturday morning I just ignored them and wouldn't get out of bed. To make them finally shut up I got up and went into the bathroom. My mom came up to the door, yelled at me, and then told me that if I didn't go with them that I would be grounded and banned from Gaia for three weeks. And I just refused, so they left all huffy-like and I just crawled back into bed.
And yeah, I knew what I was doing. I admit that occasionally I'm kind of like, "maybe I should've just gone." But you know what? Screw them! They need to ask my damn opinion before they decide to shove me along somewhere. D:
And I did try to "argue" back. When they returned I just told them that they never asked me if I wanted to go and that I never had. And my brother just said: "Gelsey! It doesn't matter if you want to go or not, you have to." With a smile, too. And my mom was doing the same thing and she was petting my hair. She's lucky I didn't try to bite her ******** hand off. (:
So, now, I've turned my time on the internet to video games. Lulz, she tells me to study my government, but I need the PowerPoints. Which are online, which she won't let me touch.
Y'know, I was on pretty good terms with my brother, too. He's the nicer one and is pretty goofy. But he's in debt, still spends his money sometimes, doesn't buy his family any gifts for any holiday (but will for his current girlfriend at the time), and gets obsessed with the girl he's dating. I swear she could probably ask him to jump in front of a fast moving train and he would. D: (He's been in more than one really, realllly bad relationship where the chick was extremely obviously unhealthy, the entire family hated her, and yet he refused to stop dating her.) He's twenty-seven, too, and still doesn't have his own place to live. But still, he was sweet and my older brother. But now... forget it. I don't know how mad I'm going to be at him, but I know that I will be for a while. He's going to be receiving the cold shoulder. That's all I've got to say.
And something is true: I've been somewhat angry and crabby lately. But I was getting better. When I was with my mom I wasn't constantly acting teenager-ish around her like I was before. I was getting better and I could tell. And you know what, it made me think that maybe I really could last in this house until I was able to move out. But now... I don't know. It feels kind of like my mother shot me in the back, along with my brother. To me, it's like this: "Well, you've been getting better on your attitude lately, but I'm going to ground you anyway even though this'll probably just make things worse." Honestly, my mother has a ******** PhD and is a psychologist. She's a THERAPIST. God knows what she's done. She grounded me for three weeks because I didn't go hiking. And? They never asked me if I wanted to go!
I've got the opportunity to apply to become an ambassador for my university. If I do, there's a possibility that I could get free rooming there. Starting tonight, I'm going to start praying for it. Because I've been on edge with my family for about... the past five years. If I don't get out soon, I'm going to suffocate. There's something a little odd about all of my siblings, and I'm already ******** up too. My eldest had absolutely no self-motivation and never believed in herself until her friends FORCED her to. She had no idea what she capable of. One of my brothers is a little less cracked on the head, but he has made some bad decisions, is somewhat narrow-minded and has occasional anger issues. My next brother is twenty-seven and yet acts constantly like he's twelve. My closest in age sibling, and my sister, is almost the same way as he is. And she can't stop spending everything she makes. We're all cracked, just like all of my aunts and uncles are. (One aunt is a selfish b***h, I'm sorry to say; and my uncles are both involved in drugs; and my mom is constantly depressed and used to only think of herself but now focuses all of her attention on me.) I need to get away from my mother, or else I'm afraid that I'll do something that I'm going to end up regretting. You guys know that I don't really make good choices when I get depressed.
So, if you're religious... this feels kind of selfish for me to ask of you, but please, pray for me. If you're not, then please just hope. I need to move out.
Psalm 119: 116-117 “Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed..."
 MythicalYoko · Mon Apr 21, 2008 @ 07:08pm · 5 Comments |
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