Ok Today was ok untill about 45 minute ago. Yeah I could tell you why but i think it would be better if i started yesterday.
Yesterday
I woke up and I was cold. So I went to my moms room to ask for a blanket. What do I get when I walk in? "Good morning meggan!" no.
I get : You didn't do any school work yesterday. You are grounded for two days.
Now me being half asleep, cold, hungry and what not heard her say 'today'. So I think 'alright Today! One days grounding thats cool.'
So yesterday i didn't really do much. Blah blah blah.
Today
Today I wake up and get on the computer. Draw some talk to people same old same old. Like 45 mins ago there was a knock at the door. So I go down and Ta daa! Its Ryan and Andrew! So I'm all happy and stuff because I havn't seen Ryan since 2 months before last school year ended and I havn't seen Andrew since school ended. So I step out infront of the door. We talk for all of 30 seconds and the front door to my house swings open. There stands Norma, my moms 'roommate'. Shes my moms fiance. We've been living with her for like...half of my life so yeah we call her 'mom'. Anywho, so there Mom and she goes "Get inside you're grounded for a week.". So I go " Alright!" out of reflex and go inside leaving Ryan and andrew dumbstruck. Now see I'm clueless because well why would I be grounded for stepping outside for not even a minute to say hello to friends? Well turns out She had said I was grounded for two days and not today. So now I'm grounded for a week.
Let it be known that I am sick and tired of stress. Since wendsday all it has been is Stress. Friday why didn't i do school work? Because I got stressed. Stressed is better than lashing out and hurting people right? Why have them get angry? So I take it. Stress takes its toll on me though so on Friday all I wanted to do was sleep and be online and be HAPPY. I am almost NEVER happy! I ask myself sometimes 'why not just act how you feel?' Simple answer is 'I dont want to worry anyone.' So I am the idiot with the goofy grin. The one whos always 'Oh so happy!'. I'm tired of it. I hate this house. I am ALWAYS (( this is literly )) In this damned house. I am deprived from everyone I care about who is not related to me. I hate this house. I hate homeschooling. I hate the fact that I can never do anything right. I hate that I can always only do things 'half-a**' as my 'mom' puts it. I hate that I'm compared to trash on a daily bases. I hate always giving and never allowing myself to get. I hate never being selfish. You know what? This is selfish. All of these thoughts are selfish. I don't care. If my little sister wasn't here and wasn't the one most likely to find my body, I would have been dead by now. And you know what? I would have been happy.
 Ookibuns · Sun Oct 24, 2004 @ 08:10pm · 2 Comments |
