I have so many things to say, I don't know where to begin. Last night, I went to Church, to hang out in the Youth thing, I didn't get along much, because I'm too old. I guess, I don't know , they just kinda looked at me weird. I think they thought I was trying to be Avril, but no I'm not, I don't know, what there problem was. Don't ever call me Avril. I like how we have alot in common and I look up to her and stuff, but I'm not Avril!!!!! LOL. And I was like, well w/e. I just enjoyed myself anyways. And so I watched a real band, last night, it was fun, but then kinda boring, because I've seen bands before and they didn't want to perform and this girl was mad at me for some reason, she was sticking up her nose like she had a big deal about me being there, just a stuck up little brat. All I did was sit there and watch them play. & I was moving to the beat of the music, and I know I wasn't the only one doing that, probably like several others moving to beat too. That's the point of playing in front of us, because we like the music, and anyways, they were singing Christian songs and she was being stuck up, then I was like, thinking in my head, she was being a total hypocrite, because she was A) mad at me for liking their music and showing appreciation. B) Wouldn't admit the fact that she needed encouragement. And c) She was seriously just rude. She goes, I don't like when people do that, because then she ends up singing other people's songs and then people get mad at her. A) This is a church. And B) those are her best friends, I could tell that they knew each other, and so I was getting mad at this point. I said nothing and kept on moving to the beat.
Then I asked them what I can do to get in their band. The instructor was talking about all these rules and I asked them why does it matter if we hang out with kids that are younger or the fact that I was even there? I simply asked for an honest answer this morning before I showed up. I was mad, because the guy was like, it's ok if you come to any of the hang outs, it doesn't matter to me, but it was a lie! A Lie!!!!! I wasted 5 hours of my time when I could be doing something else. I just wanted to be around people, is that too much to ask? I didn't say that, I just kinda walked off like, ok, thanks bye bye. I was mad I tell you. That's just stupid to have a Church built on rules like that, b/c were all equal. Like I'm gonna hurt someone if I'm 24 yrs old. Give me a break. I warned them that morning that I was 24 and I was asking if I could come to one of these events b/c I have nothing to do at home and I was pretty much alone all day by myself. The guy said yes, I even mad sure it was an honest yes, but turns out, it was a lie in the end. Ugh!!!! I hate that.
I wonder if the stuck up girl, has ever heard of a concert performing? Has she been to one? I'm sure she has. You can't control what the audience does, and if she screws up, it's her fault. It's her job to do what she can, to stay on target and not mess up. Ugh!!! And then I really didn't want to talk about what was bothering me that night, and my Mom gives some lame excuse, saying how it could actually be my fualt and I didn't want to hear it. I know your supposed to look at other people's side of the story and stuff, but I know what I was talking about , I didn't need her input and I definably didn't want to talk about it. She was trying to force me anyways. Ugh!!! I 'm not the kinda person to go whinnying for mommy every time some kid makes me mad. It's just not me.
If it wasn't even more worse, I met someone named Dallas and she was nice at first, but then I don't know if it was something I did or what, but all the sudden it was like she had a problem with me. I apologized that I was so quiet because I know it must be irritating that I'm there and stuff and not saying anything. B/c when I first get to know someone, I don't know what to say. My mind just goes completely blank and she said it was ok. I asked if she didn't mind me hanging out with her, she said it was fine, but I could tell she was lying by looking at her. I wanted to hang out in the Band room, when there was time left, but she wanted to go to the Gym, so I went anyways, b/c that's what friends do.
She just totally ignored me , left me alone, like who gives a dam about me.
If it wasn't any more worse, my Mom screamed at me over the stupidest thing, when I got home, not to mention, that my ears were hurting like crazy. I could barely enjoy listening to anything without dealing with the pain.
She said her excuse was that I made her agrivated, that's just b/s . Why don't she learn to deal with her own problems. Which she doesn't. And then blames it on me. I did check the basket, she was just looking for an excuse to yell at me and I know for sure it wasn't my fault. She just hates to see me happy while she's pissed off @ her own problems and then I get dragged in the middle of it all and she pulls pranks on me so she can scream at me. Says I'm the one that agrivates her and crap like that. I'm just like w/e. She wont let me have any space either. I think she wanted to see me cry, but it wasn't going to happen. cause then that's letting her know she can control me and take advantage of me. She screamed at me all b/c some how the clothes were piled on top of a basket, in the wrong basket and if she just ask me nicely, it wouldn't be a big deal, but if she screamed at me, I wasn't going to listen. It's like duh!!! She said I was giving excuses, but she asked me why I did that, and I told her my reason for it. She said they were excuses and then belittled me. Just stupid. I would call the cops and stuff, but that's a waste of time, they don't understand what I'm going through. They just tell me to get a job, which I have been trying to do. rolleyes Even if it was my fault, which I know it wasn't, because I decided to take the dirty clothes back out of the basket, b/c they might be dirty and some how they were back in there and I know it wasn't me. But even if it was my fault, then, it's still not worth it for her to scream at me. Esp if she can teach me to do luandry, which she refuses to do. I know in my heart, I would love to do luandry, cause there are certain times when I want to wear something and it's not there. Then I get mad cause it's not there and have to wait for them to be clean. If I could do my own laundry, I'd be able to wear what I want, when I want to. So no point in her screaming at me the way she did, over a silly little mistake.
Anyways, I played guitar today. That's about it, then I went to sleep, b/c I had a huge headache.
Iloverock23 Community Member 
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