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If this is what it sounds like you shouldn't feel ashamed, you're a victim..you shouldn't regret that its not your fault...I don't know what to say, and as for cutting(I've been down that road before and I probably will again someday) really isn't a solution, you're a victim of a sick minded person you shouldn't take that out on yourself. sweatdrop

If you have proof, and are mentally up to it... You could probably give him a taste of justice...

Cutting is no more a solution than it is a problem. Hiding the cuts, avoiding events such as swimming, making excuses, telling friends to leave you alone about it- can get really tiresome rather than doing something a bit more helpful.

Call a friend, talk to them, take your mind off of it, you don't have to talk about why you're upset at the time just try to get your mind off it.

Try preventing yourself from becoming bored? Usually that's when depression, or painful thoughts can get in your head easiest, but that also doesn't mean to over stress yourself....

I don't think its can be to late for something serious like that.

There are several things you could do at this point. I will suggest you not do most of them, because they aren't really good ideas.

If you really feel uneasy about it(and it looks like you do) It's never to late to tell the police. If you have a name, alias, or just know his picture, you can report to the police. If you know his name, DO NOT HESITATE! go to the police. You may not be able to do anything to make the memories go away. But if this guy is caught, you can live off of the fact that now he can no longer do anything like that to anyone else again. Even though the memories may never go away, it'll help. I know that you don't want anyone else to go through what you had to, and reporting as much as you can is the only way to help it.

I'm sorry to say, but you have to realize this: The memories will probably never go away.
But if you report him now, you can ease yourself with the knowledge that you're trying to prevent anyone from ever being hurt by him again.

Don't hurt yourself for not knowing what to do. Don't cut for not knowing.

Remember these words:
"There is no pain from the past that can be solved, there is no cut from the past that will heal. There is only the future, and what can be done to prevent more wounds from opening."
~A.R.C.

These are the words of my friend, my mentor, and my idol.

hey, i used to cut myself. and i hate playing my scars are worse than urs so im gonna try not to do that. it only makes u feel worse. well anyways, i was goin emo and all my friends were telling me, "your not emo", "emo's cut themselves", "comeon, if your trying to get attention you got it". that wasn't really wat i needed to hear. then i decided, that scince no one likes me as who i am, i wasn't that important. now you have to realize, i am popular and i also was in a relationship at the time, so i tried cuttin myself on the legs scince i felt so depressed about me "not being important". then i moved to my wrist. i cut twice on my wrist and then my friends found out and they got all mad at me. belive me. you have a way to fix your future. there is a path that is open, me, i have to work on rebuilding my friendships. whereas i had about 20 close friends i now have maybe 10. so please, go get someone to stick him in the slammer for me and don't feel ashamed.

I understand... you know I had the same thing happen to me when I was ten... I blame myself all the time, even though I know I shouldn't. I have even tried to tell people that this has happened to me, but I always seem to lie about when it happened, I always think that it would sound better if I told people it happened at a party or something...but I end up telling them that I lied then I keep it all balled up inside. (by the way only one person knows and he thinks its at a party)

I'm not sure why I am telling you this and I don't even know if anyone wanted to read my story... I just wanted to say that you are not alone and you are very brave for posting this! Bravo it took you to make me say something thank you.

maybe it IS too late to tell the police, maybe not. thankfully i've never beent rhu that, but i know a friend who was. she's never forgotten about it. truth is: it'll never go away. u'll need to find a way to deal with it. perhaps a support group, psychologist, or the likes. u have to tell someone, and i realize it can be very painful, in which case doing it face-to-face might be too much to bear, so u can try an online support group. it can be painful, but maybe letting it out at ur own rythm might be better than bottling it up and having it burst in ur nightmares.