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Reply "ALI" Advice for Life Issues
How do you help a cutter...? [New info] Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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SMiNKLe

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 3:18 pm


How can you help people who have been through a lot and take it out on themselves? I guess it's a pretty simple question, but I can't come up with an answer.

Her story:
well she said she has been cutting for a year... and last night she cut herself so much that she almost died... but that's a good thing to her -__- her dad is very abusive and mean to her and her mom is really ignorant and ignores her a lot... and her 15 year old brother got killed in a fight yesterday... She didn't even seem sad at all abouit this... she just straight up "yeah i cut myself at least once every 2 weeks"...

Side note: I just met her.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:50 pm


User Image We lied, We can't go on



grab their knife and beat them with it

no, seriously now

confront them about it and tell them what you think about it and how it's bad for them and they should stop
or else
tell like their parents or older sibling, or anyone close to them that will help them stop
if you are afraid of telling and getting them in trouble, just think how it's for their benefit and needs to be done



This is the time and this is the place to be aliveUser Image

Faerie Dreams

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K1T3

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:11 pm


find them a hobby they can do so it can keep their hands from knifing themselves
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:23 pm


As K1T3 said, a hobby gives them something else to focus on other than themselves...

Usually cutting only causes more trouble than anything, you should try to get them to go swimming with you or something where they have to expose arms, legs and other areas they might be cutting... It might help them to have a reason not to cut...

It also depends on how much cutting is going on and how often, if it has been going on for a long while, you should do as Faerie Dreams said and tell someone. If it just happened once- or they cut once in a blue moon, then watch them closely- Take note on the time that that it usually occurs and see if you can hang out with them more around that time. Also, try to figure out their reason why they cut. If it be a family reason or boyfriend girlfriend type thing.

I hope this helps you in some way


Fenera


Feral Mystic

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K1T3

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 8:09 pm


or if it is related to not being able to find a bf/ or gf try to help that person see what he/she thinsk is making them not have the courage to ask that person out. then try to help them achieve their goal.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:05 pm


New update in the 1st post.

She's having family problems and is feeling numb.

SMiNKLe


K1T3

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:22 pm


then you might ahve tot ake matters into your own hands and make her see what she's doing is wrong.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:18 pm


Honestly, it seems like she could use a friend... someone to talk to and just be there for her when she needs them... You could always try... though, if the degree of cutting is ridiculous she needs professional help... but right now if it's family problems, she needs more of a friend than anything... *shrugs* but that's just how I see it.


Fenera


Feral Mystic

21,325 Points
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Star_of_the_future

PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 12:43 pm


you probably wanna stop her really bad but you cant just force them to stop, she needs to learn on her own, just be supportive, when something bad happens let her talk it out with you(if she wants to) or let her cry around you, just check her wrist(or where ever she cuts) alot to make sure its not getting worse and always tell her you're there for her.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 3:50 pm


I am agreeing with Star_of_the_Future.. you really can't force them.. look... I have A BEST BEST BEST friend... she/he cuts.... but she/he is trying to stop..so..what can I do to help.. I suppor them.... you cant say YOU WONT DO IT AGAIN because they want to... people like thats has past truw alot...so let them try and find themselfs and hopefully..they will stop..just..be a friend to her..and Love as a friend..thats all she needs.. I hope your friend feels better.. and that her dad and mom will stop being....."BAD" parents.. Hoped I helped! 3nodding

XanXives


hellzeeko

PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:30 pm


At some point I cut nd I chose to place myself around my friends because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it around them, so maybe you should try to get your friend in good company.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:57 pm


K1T3
find them a hobby they can do so it can keep their hands from knifing themselves


its not always just knives mate. i've done it with anything. i did with a credit card once because i had nothing esle.
i i guess you should aproach them about it, calmly dont just throw it at them like WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID!!DONT CUT YOURSELF!! i've done it loads of times, im not happy about it, but sometimes there are things in our past that we just cant help but feel like there's no way out. just talk to the person calmly and then try to figure out whats bothering them. then try to find a way to resolve it.

blackmunky


K1T3

PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 2:08 am


BlackMunky
K1T3
find them a hobby they can do so it can keep their hands from knifing themselves


its not always just knives mate. i've done it with anything. i did with a credit card once because i had nothing esle.
i i guess you should aproach them about it, calmly dont just throw it at them like WHY ARE YOU BEING SO STUPID!!DONT CUT YOURSELF!! i've done it loads of times, im not happy about it, but sometimes there are things in our past that we just cant help but feel like there's no way out. just talk to the person calmly and then try to figure out whats bothering them. then try to find a way to resolve it.
well that is similar to using a knife. what i meant was anything that could injure.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 8:58 am


Anythng that could injure could be anything if they're determined enough.

hellzeeko


truths untold

PostPosted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 10:11 pm


o.k. first people get it straight. i cut. i am trying to help other cutters like me. we need friends and support, but don't force us to stop. ask us nicely. like call once a day to show u care. but dont force. second, obviosly she needs to be removed from that house and third, sometimes we cut in unobvious places so that we CAN go swimming.
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"ALI" Advice for Life Issues

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