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 Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:40 am
 shot through the heart
okay, so this guy, he's like one of my best friends
(I've made a thread about him before, but now that is irrelevant)
so yeah, we talk a lot, get along really well, and hang out together quite a bit
at one point I started having feelings for him as more than a friend
but thankfully they disappeared
now I am pretty sure he has a girlfriend, so I start feeling guilty with how we act together...I mean we are just friends, but I feel guilty still
like a few weeks ago I went to his house and we watched Saw III and we were laying down together on the couch cuddly-ish and he had both his arms around me and would randomly kiss my forehead, and at one point he started tickling me and told me he wouldn't stop unless I kissed him on the cheek, so therefore I did..and I felt a little bad for that
last weekend we went out for ice cream and just drove around randomly talking for a long time, that I didn't feel as guilty about though, cause that was just friend-like
and then online we were talking and was like "we're like friends with benefits, but not too many" and I was just like, "yeah, we're close friends" and that I felt kinda bad for too
and yeah, we pretty much just mess around a lot and such, like I try to steal his car keys from him, and I'll reach my hand into his pocket, and he'll be like "hey, none of that while at school" joking of course
but yeah, I am not 100% sure if he has a girlfriend, I thought I was, but some of the things he does says otherwise, and I feel guilty doing all this stuff with him, even if it is just as friends, and I don't exactly want to ask him if he has a girlfriend...so I am sorta stuck here...do I continue without caring much, cause even if he does have a girlfriend she'll never find out since she goes to another school, or do I just stop without knowing for sure if he has a girlfriend or not?
so yeah...advice please? and you're to blame
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2007 9:55 am
First, figure out if he really has a girlfriend.
Ask him without straight-out asking him.
Next time he does something you'll feel guilty for, say something like "Now, now, I don't think your girlfriend would approve of this...."
And if he does have a girlfriend...... I don't know what you should do..... Keep everything the same except try to stay out of sexy situations with him....
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 9:09 am
I'm just going to reply to the topic title, okay?
No.
If he has a girlfriend, it's his responasibilty to mess around with you or not, even if that messing around consists of nothing but kisses on the cheek. .>>;You shouldn't feel guilty. If he had a girlfriend he's not taking her too seriously anyway. You can't help that.
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 3:01 pm
just ask him if he has a girlfriend.
like you could ask who he likes,
and he could say like ooh i like katelyn.
and then just be like does she like you?
etc.
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2007 7:16 pm
I wouldn't say it's wrong of you. He's leading you on if he's got a girlfriend, and if he doesn't, he's still leading you on by not telling you his feelings. He might not be doing it on purpose, but it's definitely not the best situation in the world.
Ask him if he's got a girlfriend. If he does, lay down some ground rules on where you can go. Enforce them.
If he doesn't, ask him flat out how he feels about you. If he likes you, I trust you can figure out what's best for you from there.
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 12:09 pm
shot through the heart
well hmm...I did have the perfect chance to ask him if he has a girlfriend yesterday, but I didn't, cause I was majorly doubting that he does
considering how he was saying that "he wants me" "he loves me" "he liked cuddling/kissing my forehead" and things like that
he was kinda joking, I think, but still, now the chances of him having a girlfriend have like dropped to 65%... and you're to blame
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Posted: Tue May 22, 2007 7:15 pm
i really don't think it has to do with 'chances' of having a gf or not. if u r that close, there should be no reason to feel nervous or the likes of that about asking him whether he's in a relationship or not. if he is, warn him about what could happen for being so close while in a relationship. i mean, friends come first, but there IS such a line that shouldn't be crossed, no matter how close u r as friends. there are things that u can and cannot do [well, SHOULDN'T do] if either is in a relationship. it's nothing of cutting the friendship, it's simply setting some rules. setting all that aside, first thing's first: ASK HIM IF HE HAS A GF OR NOT!! second, if u r worrying about this, i don't think u r completely over the feelings u say u had some time ago. u say they're gone, but the fact that u feel guilty without even knowing, feeling guilty but NOT STOPPING, and that u seem reluctant to ask him whether he has a gf or not, kinda makes me think u still like him, otherwise that'd u'd like to be his gf.
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2007 5:29 pm
shot through the heart
well I think I've figured out a way to ask him...
1- I tell him how today someone asked me if I was going out with him, and then say, but don't you have a girlfriend?
2- Next time I go over his house, if we start getting too close again, then I can be like "wait, you have a girlfriend, right?"
or something along those lines and you're to blame
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2007 8:55 am
either would work, as long as u pull urself together and ask. if u r too nervous, just try and ask without thinking much on it. when i get nervous, i just try to block out my worries and say it, without thinking much on it. once said, there's no going back. so maybe that might work for u. next time u have an opening to ask, go ahead and do it, thinking the least possible about what could happen.
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 8:18 am
shot through the heart
I have been thinking
what's the harm in knowing if he has a girlfriend or not?
I mean, we are just friends, and everything we do is just as friends, so I don't see any problem with it 3nodding
I don't think I'm gonna even bother asking him and you're to blame
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 8:49 am
there IS no harm in knowing. that's why u could[/should] ask him and it'd be ok. but, if that's how u REALLY feel, then that's fine, too...as long as u r not overshadowing ur worries in order to not ask him, then it's fine
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2007 9:47 pm
Faerie Dreams shot through the heart
well I think I've figured out a way to ask him...
1- I tell him how today someone asked me if I was going out with him, and then say, but don't you have a girlfriend?
2- Next time I go over his house, if we start getting too close again, then I can be like "wait, you have a girlfriend, right?"
or something along those lines and you're to blame do you really have to be that daring? he might feel threatened at how you approach him w/ this. justa sk him normally. like " you got a crush on anyone?" or soemthing along those lines. cuz if you approach him w/ this he may think that you don't like him.
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 8:08 am
K1T3 Faerie Dreams shot through the heart
well I think I've figured out a way to ask him...
1- I tell him how today someone asked me if I was going out with him, and then say, but don't you have a girlfriend?
2- Next time I go over his house, if we start getting too close again, then I can be like "wait, you have a girlfriend, right?"
or something along those lines and you're to blame do you really have to be that daring? he might feel threatened at how you approach him w/ this. justa sk him normally. like " you got a crush on anyone?" or soemthing along those lines. cuz if you approach him w/ this he may think that you don't like him.
well before like a month ago, he told me he didn't have a girlfriend
but then I heard from multiple people, and even things he said kinda hinted towards that he got back together with his ex, and during that time we weren't as close, but then after he stopped saying things like that, and others stopped telling me that, me and him got much closer, so my way of asking would have been just like reassuring that he does have one, not seem like I'm clueless to that he does or doesn't
and you're to blame
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 10:48 pm
u could ask him casually. in fact, if ppl were rumoring 'this or that' about him, u could ask. tell him something like "hey, ppl have been talking about this, and i'm wondering if it's true, since u haven't mentioned anything to me" or "ppl have stopped talking about this, so i'm guessing it's over, but i kinda need u to tell me so that i'll know for sure" or something like that.
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