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Reply 44: Stairway to Poetry
White Hare

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Any Good??
Yes
60%
 60%  [ 3 ]
No
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Some Improvement Needed
40%
 40%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 5


BarefootInTheSnow

PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 12:21 pm


White Hare

Standing in a corner
Waiting to be seen
Everything around me
Feels like a dream
I could die tomorrow
And no one would care
Out of the corner of my eye
I spy a White Hare
-Follow me quickly-
He seems to say
And when I think about it
I have no reason to stay
-Follow me through this maze
And Happiness is what you'll find-
Telling myself I can do no wrong
I keep everything inside my mind
-I'll take you through
-Your every dream-
I got so scared
I didnt dare scream
I followed him into a downward spiral
Blackness along my vision creep
But through all this
I uttered not a peep
Awakening cold and alone
Knowing my days of old were done
When nothing is left but bones and dust
And never again to see the sun
All through my body
There was a feeling of sleep
and into it I sunk
Perhaps to deep



--a jess orginal
PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:49 pm


Wow...at first it made me think of Alice in Wonderland,I like how it flows,you can see it ^o^

Chortleasd


faerie_ophelia

PostPosted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 6:32 pm


I like it. It made me think of Alice in Wonderland, too. Very interesting perspective.
PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:38 pm


i didnt mean for it to be like alice in wonderland, but yeah it did kinda come out that way, it is a poem about my depression, and how it used to make me feel like i was indeed in another world and i couldnt find my way back home again, thank you for your support!!!

BarefootInTheSnow


elilen

PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:10 pm


it's really good xd . i got a sense of alice in wonderland as well, and i especially liked the feel of it and the way you made it flow.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2007 11:21 am


thankya big-big everyone!!! mrgreen

BarefootInTheSnow


RhodeKamelot_87

PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:41 am


I like the way it flows and yes there is a whole Through the Looking Glass forte to the poem but I think its wonderful.
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44: Stairway to Poetry

 
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