Having a Crisis and need to vent

[Precious L.]

Like it says I'm having a crisis. My wolrd is falling down around me and I want be dead and buried. Meds are working and things have gotton way worse. I need to be reevaluated. I need real help and I can't get it. I have no money. And I can't pick up the phone, because I'm afriad. I want to scream and yell and throw and break things. But I can't. No I have to be the perfect child. I'm 30 and I can't do anything. I can't do anything to disappoint the family. I don't think I can do this much longer. I wish I was dead but I'm not string enough to do it.
The family thinks if I take my meds everything is fine. All my problems disappear, but it doesn't work that way. I hurt so bad and no one can help me. And I don't know how to help myself. I've worn out my stay and I need to move away.... go away. Leave and not look back. But the furture is black and I'm all alone.


I don't know how to live....

I don't know what to do...  

[ObscureEnigma]

Sounds crazy. Do you talk to anyone about this? Tell someone that you need help. I promise that your friends (if they are good) will know to refer you to someone. Counsellors and psychologists know what they are doing. Medication, my darling, is not the only thing that can cure such emotional problems that you are demonstrating. Do you know why you feel this way all of the time?

Look, you need to explain to your family that your medication is not the only thing that can keep you sane. Tell them that you need honest to God help. And don't worry what they think. Right now, you need to care for yourself.  

[Precious L.]

I don't have any friends. And my parents are to stuborn to get that meds don't cure everything. When they were young people like me were locked up. My sister is the only one who gets it. In fact she had to take me to the hospital last week and told the doctor that I was near sucidal. Which of course got me stuck in the hospital until pysch could see me. She then dragged me of to see about welfare and try to get me some mental help. However I don't want to tell my parents because I know they'll be mad at her. Even if she is trying to help me.
I know that part of my problem is that I live with my parents. My dad has never really liked me and well he's sick of me living there. I wish I wasn't here either. I'm treated like I'm 16. I can't leave when I want, I can't do anything I want. Which now I'm to the point that I'm afraid a lot. I mean who's afraid of the stupid phone. I can't even pick it up unless I'm talking to a close family memeber. I feel so pathedic.  

[Merrin Spicer]

Wow! I would suggest moving in with your sister. She will certainly be able to help you. Like ObscureEngima said, you should not worry about what your parents think. You are thirty years old. They need to realize that you are a big girl now, even though they may not see you that way. Unless you get help, you will not be able to prove that you can do anything. Do not worry. Just get help. That is all that should matter right now. They should not be angry with her, especially because she is trying to help you out. She will certainly be the one who will be rational and explain to them the situation, no matter how much they dislike it.

::nods:: Well, your father may be part of your mental problems. He has been neglecting you for years and still continues to do it. If you leave now and go live with your sister until the s**t is settled, then you will never have to worry about his neglect again. Perhaps your sister should suggest that the whole family woudl go see a psychologist or counselor; this situation sounds extremely serious. And yes... that does seem a bit silly. Okay, I will tell you right off that YOUR PARENTS are crazy. Not you. None of this is your fault. Remember that. They are the ones who are not giving you enough room to grow and be able to cope with life's problems. And believe me, I know people who are afraid of the phone, darling. Don't worry about it. And you are not pathetic, unless you think that way. The mind is a very powerful thing. If you believe that you will be able to find a way out of this problem, then there will be a way.

Good luck with that, by the way.  

[ObscureEnigma]

He gave you some excellent advice. And if you need a friend, Precious L., then you can come to me. I will always try to give you some helpful advice.  

[MadamoiselleMorganne]

I dislike your parents based on the fact that they won't get you help.I agree that you should live with your sister regardless of you're parents' opinions of that act.
If they won't give you help than you need your sister to,your parents won't beable to stay mad at you forever,I'm sure.