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I am an avoider. I try hard to stay away from unpleasantness; if someone raises their voice, I get out of there as fast as possible. I don't associate with hostile people, and if someone gets angry with me, I cry, and I can't help it. I flat out cannot deal with hostility.

And my mother is married to a guy who desperately needs anger management. Before he kicked me out of the house, he and I would argue constantly, simply because he would raise his voice and I would hoof it out of there to try and avoid it. Once it got physical, and to this day I don't know how I found it in myself to strike back at that enraged redneck.

After I left, he started the same thing on my younger sister, and once she graduated high school, he kicked her out, as well. And no one told me; my mother has increasingly seemed as if she's really and truly scared of my stepfather, and she usually doesn't speak ill of him or say anything that paints him in a negative light.

Basically, she makes excuses for him.

Now that its just my youngest sister left living with them, he's begun the same crap with her. I know that once she graduates, she'll be kicked out as well.

Anyway, enough background.

I find myself, more and more often, wanting to just stop calling them, stop talking to them, and just distance myself from all this unpleasantness. Part of me feels as if this is the wrong thing to do, but sometimes I just feel like I can't deal with the BS.

I hate to say it, but its hard for me to respect my mother, seeing her doing nothing to change the situation, and just letting this man walk all over her and her daughters. I don't want to talk to her, or hear her excuses.

Is it wrong of me to feel this way? I don't know what I should do, or how I should handle this.

it's not wrong to feel that way, it's actually quite normal. however, u should really talk it out with her. it bothers u that this man is doing this, and it is ur mother that can, basically enough, take the major step of getting rid of him by, if nothing else, dirvorce. i'm usually against dirvocing, and in fact am having amajor hard time with my parents divorcing, but in situations like this, where nothing else, no other choice, seems to be left, something must be done. your mom has to understand this. this man has no right no break this family apart, and that's exactly what it seems he's doing by kicking u girls out of the house. while i usually am against violence, i take my hat off before u and congratulate u in striking that man when u did. if nothing else, i'm sure it made him realize that u won't sit around while he does as he pleases. i'm not sure if that's of much help, but do speak with ur mother about this. it's not about avoiding the issue, it's about doing something to change it. i, too, avoid some things, i like to call it my self-defense mechanism...but sometimes, no matter how scared we are, we just have to face the situation, and in doing so stop avoiding things. while it is the "first strike of the situation" and it's "too much to handle", it's ok to avoid. while u begin to cope with it. but u can't always run from things. u will, sooner or later, have to face them