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Plateau Stigma was a state we survived for 7 straight days before we felt like we were bursting of insanity and burning out of our skin. We were so far gone we felt as if were were dying, I suppose it all started just after our trip to Schwag...

"I didn't get to trip acid like I hoped, but boy did I trip just as hard. I'm not sure if the DXM I took caused it (480mgs) or the 3 gram shroom I had eaten earlier (first time for Shrooms for me), or both, but I tripped as hard as I can imagine possible. I stood within a dark void, and life consisted of short flashes. All I could visualize were dots of light, but then I'd visualize being in a completely different reality with light and people and my family. I couldn't remember what was going on around me for more than a few minutes, and my sense of touch seemed to be heightened while at the same time I could feel no pain, just....pressure for lack of a better word. 4 of the 6 hours I was on my trip I enjoyed but the end I wanted it to end because it got old having someone walk me to the bathroom and not being able to see or walk by myself. It kept thinking everything was falling into place, and everything that had happened in life was so predictable. I thought I was going to die and it was my time and it was just as natural as it would be for me to take another breath. I gained a new perspective, there. See, I told you drugs are handy for that. When I grew tired of tripping I asked a pagan I knew there who had a skill for healing to help me, but I couldn't hold still for them to do so long enough. I kept forgetting what was going on and sitting up, and they'd try to hold me down and I'd freak out and they'd give up. Overall, I'd say it was wonderful and I can't wait to do it again."

Now on DXM, the time seems so much slower, so a bad trip isn't a good deal. The bad trip I had survived on this day was one which seemed to be so much more long and intense than I can even begin to describe, but at one point in time, I felt as if time had dissapeared. I had watched visualizations on the computer for 3 hours, though it seemed as though I'd watched them for for 5 minutes. Especially considering the distortion of time-- generally meaning time goes slower-- this is quite odd. We know more about it than erowid does, any other drug user does. This thought keeps running through my mind. We're our own ginea pigs as he put it, pushing out bodies to their very limits and hoping we survive it. We kept choosing this drug over everything. Sleep, food, sex (though we did squeeze a 3sum in there). It didn't matter, it was this drug or death in our minds. A thought we couldn't bare. Reality was a worse concept than death for us.

Seizures...they just wouldn't stop coming after about the 4th day. The 8th day was the worse for them. I thought the girl was dying three times. She screamed in pain on the bed after we huffed air duster, something we'd used commonly in this week of stupidity, She was screaming as if she were possessed "IM GOING TO DIE", "WHATS WRONG WITH ME!" "I'M HAVING A HEART ATTACK". It wasn't good. She continued all through the night. He would just blank out and flop around or just shake lightly. On the 8th night he just laid there and blanked out several times. I had seizures twice on the 7th day and a couple before this. I believe on the 6th day. On the 6th day I saw a girl's aura who was heartbroken and angry. I watched her punch the punching bag but felt as though I was missing much of that nights occurance in my head, which I was.

And oh the highways, the highways were so intense I had to speak of them constantly during the 7th and 8th days. It seemd so amazing to me that they linked everything together, and there were so many miles of stretches of cars zooming alone across the continent, nothing around but the open roads in which they drove at high speeds and forests surrounding both sides. I wish I could describe exactly what I felt of them.

Dancing in the street had become fun. We stopped wearing shoes the entire week and would walk blocks without them on. This angers me within my own mind; I didn't put the kids first. I'd go on walks because it felt so amazing and leave the kids unprotected and alone sleeping in the house. That was very stupid. To put an experience of something so normal above a child because you wish to feel it while intoxication is a very negative sign.

i'd get such strange visualizations. I'd think of the scene in SLC Punk "Beauty is the END" and the world would cascade down as would the walls of my brain, all my inhibitions and whatnot, and I kept hoping I'd never have to see the world for what it really was again. I was in a dream that was so wonderful compared to the truth of existence. I kept telling my friend who didn't generally trip with us that I wished he could see things the way I did.

The 8th day wasn't worth it. This addiction isn't worth it. I felt like I was dying in my head without it and I'd die with it, and around me I watched them in states I though would end in death. This phase has to stop. We must fight our addiction. I feel like I want out of my body. I'm freaking out and I can't stand it. The person who's over with those two at the moment at 1:37am on the night of the 8th just told me she had another seizure in the bathroom and she thought she was possessed. I watched her puke up blood or cough syrup, I'm not sure which. They're having all the symptoms of bromide poisining, but I'm not sure that's what it is, and he's doing what he can do take care of them. I'm going to bed, maybe I'll be sober and normal in the morning and this will all be a dream. I feel very numb and have a slight headchange.

On the 9th day, things were nearly back to normal with me. I came back to reality and realized how shitty life was becoming in the real world. I got some tough news broken to me about things going on in my family life. The girl with us woke up unable to function properly such as speech and interacting with the world which she said she could comprehend. Her boyfriend woke up with a seizure which wasn't too intense. Things are getting scary. Her sense of time still seems to be off, as she asks what time it is every 5 minutes. I found out this morning their symptoms WERE Bromide poisoning which takes 4-7 days to clear up, and it doesn't end fully for a month. Bromide is what DXM turns into. It blocks the glucose from your brain which make it hard to function like the girl was having, and I believe it's to blame for the seizures as well. I still don't know what caused my rash. It's about 20 minutes later. I want to scream inside and cry and yell and I don't know why. I have so much anxiety. My mind wants to escape itself and I want to escape my body. I see red and have no reason for this. My boyfriend was crying before he left for work. He thinks he's losing me for the drugs. It hurt me so much to see him cry, and I felt like ripping my own head off.

Feeling things once more is so unfortunate, as I have so many wounds from the days which have passed. Mental scars; memories of my bad trips. Memories of watching those around me being eaten up by this and returning to it like it was some sort of safe house, even after I knew in my mind we were all but commiting suicide.

She wouldn't stop screaming..."I'M GOING TO DIE IN ONE OF THESE SEIZURES", "i'M DYING". I wished this would all end. It's in the evening of the 9th day. The boy is stoned horribly, and so are we. Badddly. A kid is crying because he wouldn't take her flowers. The little girl says "Take the flowers from my sister, it will make her happy. It WILL make her happy." Just minutes later, and we're all stoned and alive and happy... this won't last, I know it. The boy is flashing his red light at this kid and she's our "cat" and looks like she's break dancing now. About 7:14 now. I'm getting really irritable about everything. The pot should have called me down. I'm feinding for that trip inside like mad. We're listening to a song we had so much fun with tripping. The kid scared at me and said "BOO" and snapped me out of the feind. Learned not to fall off the couch too. I'm rambling on and on and on and on because I need something to take my mind off of it UGHHHHhhhHHH.

It's about 9pm on the 9th night of the adventure for lack of a better word. I had some marijuana, and now I feel as though I'm falling into a trip. Heartbeat increased and my chest feels tight. I'm happy but careless and apathetic almost. I need to put the kids to bed...

She's phasing out now, 10 minutes later. She almost fell into a seizure. She's confused and sad and jumpy. She thinks her heart is faster than it is, but she swears she's alright. She'll 'try" to stay coherent. I'm almost scared not all of us will make it though this, I don't knwo which one. I've had a headache and a rash, I'm falling out and feeling really warm and slighty tripping on the computer screen. She is in full stoned and tripping mode, seizing and all of it. He's just shaking and losing touch with reality a bit.

10th day now, afternoon. she just seized after a few bowls of the ganja, He seized a small bit and is spacing out, I'm burning the ******** up and falling into it, the visuals on the player are ******** me up too. I'm slightly tripping off hand movement. I really want snacks. I'm burning UP.